Hi Luschen, please help me check this task and grade it in IELTS bandscrore. Thank you in advance!
A glance at the line graph provided reveals the number of international vistors of five different nationalites from 1995 to 2010.
It is apparent that the quantity of travellers of each country inceased over the period shown. Overall, the USA and France had much larger percentage of visitor than three other nations. America also occupied the first positon of internaltion tourist arrivals among five countries.
By 1995, there were over 70 million tourists travelled to the United Nations, even nearly more than twice as many as the following destination, France. However, there was a moderate fall in the rate of visitors going to the USA with a drop of about 5 million people. By contrast, France witnessed a significant rise in tourists when the visitor numbers increased from approximately 65 million to 85 million travellers.
In Malaysia, the number of visitors rose gradually over the whole period. Egypt and Brazil experienced a slight growth in tourists numbers. Between 1995 and 2000 foreign visitors stood at around 10 millions peole. Nonetheless, from 2000 the figures for Egypt and Brazil increased slightly and the quantity of travellers going to Brazil stood at lower level than in Egypt.
Hi, your writing is not too bad, but your introduction does not really reflect what the graph shows - I think this is a pretty big error. You also have some other minor errors in reporting the data, along with some grammar and usage mistakes. Overall, I would rate this a 3 out of 5.
Edited - sorry forgot this was for IELTS - probably a band 5.5
