Take a break!

English as a Second Language What do you want to talk about?
21

Hi Monica,

The dog photo reminded me of the centipede joke - for some reason ('cause my brain works in mysterious ways):

This guy, Matt, was lonely and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, Matt bought a centipede who came with a cute little box to use as his house.

Matt decided the best way to welcome his pet centipede into his life would be to take him to the local watering hole for a drink. So he asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like to go to Frank’s and have a beer?”

There was no answer from his new pet. This bothered Matt a bit. He waited a few minutes and then asked the centipede again, “How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?”

Again, there was no answer from his new pet centipede, so he waited a few minutes more, stewing about the situation. He asked one more time, this time putting his face up against the centipede’s house and shouting, “Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank’s place and have a drink with me?”

This time, a little voice came out of the box: “I heard you the first time! I’m just putting my f***ing shoes on!”

P.S: The first little guy does look innocent!

22

Hi James,

If you do have a cap, a tie and shoes like these, then he might be just you.
But … does he take after you? No, I don’t think so. He doesn’t have a moustache. :slight_smile:

And it’s not related to any bed - can’t you see that he’s happy because he’s going to do something good for a friend in need? He knows he can do it and he’s going to defeat also the bad weather because it’s snowing outside, so his sacrifice is even bigger.

Yes, it is so.
Definitely.

23

:)))

What a good joke, Cristina!

People often say

“you made my day”

But, as I can’t see any day outside at the moment,

You made my night :slight_smile: if I can say so :slight_smile:

Good night to you too. It’s late, late.

24

Phew! <Relief!> I was afraid people might find the joke tacky, Monica! :slight_smile:

Good night!

25

Hi Cristina!

I also like the joke. Good sense of humour. Not cruel, but

nevertheless very funny.

Send more, similar to this, please.

I’m sure,- you know them a lot.

Never too much, of good humour.

See you.

Alicja:))

26

[size=75]“When I look at it I think its a person :-)… is it just me?”[/size]

My stupidity Monica - I wasn’t clear about what I wrote which “clouded” my meaning. Its quite common for native speakers to say “is it just me” or “or is it just me”
What I actually mean’t was “When I look at the dog it looks like a person” so I’m then asking “is it just me”? (Meaning - does anyone else see it like that or am I just going crazy )

My Fault - Hope this makes sense. PL :slight_smile:

27

Dear James!

I never, never, had felt entitled to correct somebody on the forum.

But it seems to me, that you asked the other, for the opinion.

I noticed that native speakers, sometimes are forgetting to put the commas, what change the meanings.

If you don’t mind, according to me, it could sounds like this:

Monica, isn’t this one - uncanny??? The Dog is smiling, as if he knew what’s going on…
When I look at it, I think it’s a person :-)… is it just only me, who perceive it this way?<<

Sorry, if I had annoyed you!

Alicja:))

Ps. I would like to know, what Bess…thinks about it.

28

Also should be:“what changes the meaning”.

:((

29

Thanks Alicja It is quite common(were I live anyway) for people to say “is it just me”?
Like most language it is cut/abbreviated. The full statement which it implies is “is it just me that thinks this way?”

Because of the sentence before it I think Monica thought I meant the picture looks like me.

btw as you so kindly corrected my typo may I “suggest” Bees not Bess :slight_smile:
Any ways I’m not scared of Bees!!..erm…much?

30

Hi Alicja,

Thanks for your message. Actually I don’t know that many jokes in my own language, let alone in English.

I don’t want to disappoint you though :-), so here are a couple of jokes from me:

Paul, late for an important meeting, was searching desperately for a parking spot in a parking lot. Looking up to the heaven’s he entreated “God if you find me a parking spot, I promise to start going to church again.” The words were barely out of his mouth, when a spot opened up right in front of his car. Paul looked back up, “Never mind, I just found one.”

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went camping.

They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: 'Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

One night Paul’s wife went into labor and the doctor was called to deliver. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed Paul a flashlight and said, “Hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” Before long a baby girl arrived. “Wait a minute!” said the doctor. “Don’t lower the flashlight yet. I think there is another.” A moment later the doctor had delivered a second baby, this time a boy. “Hold on!” cried the doctor a third time. “There is another one coming.” “Holy cow, Doc!” said Paul as he raised the flashlight again. “You think it is the light that is attracting them?”

:slight_smile:

31

About the “Is it just me?” expression - here is a link to the only dictionary I could find it in, after a painstaking search :slight_smile: en.wiktionary.org/wiki/is_it_just_me

For example, I also used a variation of the same idiomatic expression here (“Maybe it’s just me.”): english-test.net/forum/ftopi … tml#544291

:-)))

32

Hi James!

You are right. Hopefully our dear Bess… doesn’t mind.(Or she didn’t read).

BTW, you could take in the consideration, that the

foreigners, like me, or Monica, can’t understand you

properly, having not knowing, the all English

abbreviations. Just, to talk down, to our level.

It is the politeness:))

Thank you.

Alicja.

33

I’ve just read this thread.

I would also understand this:
When I look at it I think its a person :-)… is it just me?
to mean ‘I think it looks like a person. Is it just me that thinks that way?’

34

Dear Cristina!

Oh, thank you.

I see, You are a very good and helpful girl.

Yes, just such jokes I had in mind.

I haven’t known, no one of them - till now.

Very funny, and innocent.

Send more of them-when you have recollected,some.

See you!

Alicja:))

35

Dear Beeesneees!

It is nice to see, that you really keep an eye, on our imperfection.

Thank you!

Alicja:))

36

Hello Alicja,

I also see that you say this in one of the earlier posts here:
“I noticed that native speakers, sometimes are forgetting to put the commas, what change the meanings.”

The problem might be that sometimes you include commas which are not required.
Here are two examples:

I noticed that native speakers, sometimes are forgetting to put the commas, what change the meanings.
should be
I noticed that native speakers sometimes forget to add commas, which change the meanings of the sentences.

(‘Native speakers’ of which language, by the way? Did you mean, “native English speakers”?)
It is nice to see, that you really keep an eye, on our imperfection.
should be
It is nice to see that you really keep an eye on our imperfection.

37

Christina you really have gone beyond the call of duty
idioms.thefreedictionary.com/bey … ll+of+duty

Notice I used “Any ways” like small children talk. I was waiting to get told off for that :slight_smile:

38

No, it’s no one’s stupidity - it’s just that I didn’t “feel” what you wanted to say. Now it’s clear. I knew this expression, from movies. If I had heard you saying it, I would have gotten the right meaning. My turn to be sorry for the confusion :((((
Thanks for explaining. Thanks to Cristina too.

Anyway, I was glad that you liked my pictures. The white cat was imprisoned with other two, in a big cage near to an open-air-swimming-pool and children were enchanted to watch them, feed them, play with them between bars. I took pictures.
There were also two black swans and some ducks there.

Now, let’s do some more misunderstanding!
I see that we communicate more, with occasions like this :)))
James, Cristina, Alicja, also Beeesneees - it seems that we did some “talking” since yesterday :slight_smile:

All the best for you my friends,
Monica

39

Dear Beeesneees!

You certainly know what you say.

Yes
,sometimes ( and to be true-very often), I’m not sure if I should give the comma or not. So I try only to keep the sense of it what I want to say.
I promise to be more economical with commas!

Thank you very much.

Alicja:))

40

Dear James,

Did you mean it?
Because it would be the first time in my life that I don’t agree with you.
I think you were joking.