success in life comes from taking risks or chances?

Could you correct my essay ? thank you.

Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from > Use specific reasons and examples to support your answers.

Answer:

I think that success is usually associated with careful planning and taking risks. If you have a chance to get a great promotion, but you do not prepare anything to show yourself to have ability to do that, you can loss it. Sometimes, you calculate everything carefully, but the environment change, or there is another unexpected event happen, maybe you failed. Therefore, I think that we must plan carefully, seize an opportunities and evaluate events many times when necessary.

I believe that careful planning has a very important role in success. For instance, when you begin to do research, you must read many many textbooks, you calculate the data that you will take them, how to analysis, what you need, what you expect in your research, what the difficulties that you can face when you do research… You must intend how to resolve if they happen. Careful planning-essential for utilizing our time and energy properly.

Even with the careful plan, changes occur unexpectedly. Sometimes, you intend that you with get something, but you will get another things. For example, Christopher Columbus was a global navigation, he thought that he was looking for India, but he discovered America. Or when I intended to go to the forest to find a kind of mushroom, I found out another mushroom that parasitize on the lavae of the cicada. That was amazing ! I think that I take advantages of new things as they occur.

Another view, if events happen against to your plan, you should change direction to resolve the difficulties. You are a medical doctor. You like to work in the department of intensive care unit, but your health is not good to be on duty all night without sleeping. It effect to your heart because you have congenital heart disease. So you must change to another department to appropriate for your health. It is important to make mistakes in your work, and then you change your plans when necessary.

In my opinion, you will succeed when you have a chance. But you need plan carefully before starting to get advantages of each opportunity and change your plan flexibly if necessary.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation in a campus cafeteria