spend 11 months a year studying

[Karenchen]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students could receive a better, more efficient education if they spend 11 months a year studying.

Contemporary education normally requires 9 months a year for students’ study at school. Now some people argue that if the semesters extend to total 11 months a year, the quality and efficiency of education students received would be improved. However, in my opinion, this proposal will just have the opposite effect with what it expects.

To begin with, the quality and efficiency of education will not increase due to the extra 2 months. Actually, the current length of semester is concluded as the best after years of practices and tests in education history, and is now well accepted all over the world. The summer and winter vacations are intended to serve as a break for students to relax and get better prepared for the next stage of study. If the vacations are shortened, as proposed, the students will not get enough rest and thus the quality of education will decrease. On the other hand, the vacations are designated in the hottest and coldest months of the year because students usually have trouble concentrating on their courses in that kind of weather. During the snowy days in winter, in some mountainous areas the government will even stop the services of public transportation. It is obviously unsuitable for students to attend school under that circumstance. After all, the 3 months of vacation are actually the time that students have the lowest study efficiency, and therefore arranging lessons in those months will only make education less efficient, in contrast to what the proposal has suggest.

Admittedly, the proposal will have some effect in increasing the volume of academic knowledge that students get from school. However, it is not wise to occupy too much of students’ time for school education. Education from society is as important as school teaching. With longer vacations, students can get an internship or attend a summer camp, while these opportunities will become less if 11 months from a year are occupied by school study.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university student and an employee in the student services center

[Luschen]

Hi Karen, I thought this essay was excellent. I could not really find any real errors, all of my comments are really suggestions for improvement rather than actual corrections. To me it really sounds like something a native speaker would write. I would rate this one a 5 out of 5. Superduper !

@Karenchen

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students could receive a better, more efficient education if they spend 11 months a year studying.

Contemporary education normally requires 9 months a year for students’ study at school. Now some people argue that if the semesters extend {“are extended” works better, as the semesters can’t really extend themselves} to total 11 months a year, the quality and efficiency of [the] education students received {present tense is better here} would be improved. However, in my opinion, this proposal will just have the opposite effect with [of] what it expects.{“what it attempts” seems better - the proposal doesn’t really expect anything, although the people implementing it do}

To begin with, the quality and efficiency of education will not increase due to the extra 2 months. Actually, the current length of semester is{“has been” is better} concluded as the best after years of practices and tests in education history, and is now well accepted all over the world. The summer and winter vacations are intended to serve as a break for students to relax and get better prepared for the next stage of study. If the vacations are shortened, as proposed, the students will not get enough rest and thus the quality of education will decrease. On the other hand, the vacations are designated in the hottest and coldest months of the year because students usually have trouble concentrating on their courses in that kind of weather. During the snowy days in winter, in some mountainous areas the government will even stop the services of public transportation.{“public transportation services” is better} It is obviously unsuitable for students to attend school under that circumstance.{it doesn’t really make sense, but “under those circumstances” is the common idiom, even if it really only one circumstance} After all, the 3{write out numbers under 20} months of vacation are actually the time that students have the lowest study efficiency, and therefore arranging lessons in those months will only make education less efficient, in contrast to what the proposal has suggest[ed]. or “what the proposal suggests”}

Admittedly, the proposal will have some effect in increasing the volume of academic knowledge that students get from school. However, it is not wise to occupy too much of students’ time for{ok, but “with” seems better} school education. Education from society is as important as school teaching. With longer vacations, students can get an internship or attend a summer camp, while these opportunities will become less {ok, but “less frequent” would be better} if 11 months from[of] a year are occupied by school study.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university student and an employee in the student services center