Should children begin formal education at an early age?

[ahmad1]

QUESTION: Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?

Childhood is an important stage of everyone’s life and has a profound influence on their future life. Personality traits of a child develop mostly at an early age. So, the kind of activities in which a child is involved affects his/her character and determines the future path of their life. The question is whether children should spend most of their time on school studies or playing. From my point of view, a child should spend most of his/her time playing. I will give my reasons in the following essay.
First, children will have enough time to study in the future while childhood never comes back. When people look back on the past years they like to remember a lot of sweet childhood memories. Needless to say, sweet moments don’t occur at studying time but at playing time with peers. For example, I remember myself as a child who liked playing with his friends with a plastic ball in alleys. We played hours in alleys and never got tired. I didn’t like to stay at home and study all day. However, when I got older I understood the importance of education and allotted more time to study and became a diligent student whereas you can’t expect a child to perceive the significance of education. Therefore, we should allow children enjoy their childhoods and study when they get older.
Secondly, studying is not the only way towards success. Some students simply don’t have an aptitude for subjects that are taught in schools or some of them can’t adapt with formal education while they are brilliant in other fields such as sports, business, music or other kinds of art. For instance, I have a nephew who was not a keen pupil at school and he always got poor grades. One day, I brought him to a music concert, he got interested in playing DAF – that is a traditional Iranian instrumental music – and his father sent him to a music class. Now, he is 25 and is one of the best DAF players across the country (Iran). He sat up his own music institute a few years ago. He has got too many pupils so that he depends on teaching music for his livelihood. Thus, we shouldn’t force children to spend most of their time on school studies if they are talented in other fields.
In sum, I believe that we should let children enjoy their childhood playing with their friends. By doing so, they will have good memories when they are adults and they may show talent in other fields. If I were a father, I would definitely allow my children play outdoors with their peers and grow up with happiness. Permit your children play and enjoy, they will have enough time to study in the future.

[Luschen]

Hi Ahmad, welcome to the forum. I think you are quite an essay writer and your English is outstanding. Your essay was very clear to me and it had an effective format. I really liked your specific and detailed examples that you did a good job tying back to your thesis. I think your first body paragraph got off the rails a little bit toward the end. Plus you could have focused a little more on the advantages of having a happy childhood, besides just fond memories.
I think children who are allowed independent play will be better adjusted socially as they grow older, will have fewer psychological problems and “hang-ups”, and will be more creative, as they have had the opportunity to generate solutions and use their imagination all on their own.Here are some specific suggestions:

@ahmad1

Childhood is an important stage of everyone’s life and has a profound influence on their future [success]. {try to avoid repeating “life” } Personality traits of a child develop mostly at an early age. So, the kind of activities in which a child is involved [significantly] {these additions makes it a bit more realistic} affects his/her character and [may determine] the future path of their life. [This raises the question of] The question is whether {your sentence was a little abrupt - adding a transition phrase helps guide the reader} children should spend most of their time on school studies or playing. From my point of view, a child should spend most of his/her time playing. I will give my reasons in the following essay. {I would leave out this last sentence and perhaps add a brief summary of the reasons in your thesis - “From my point of view, a child should spend most of his/her time playing, as there are many paths to success and childhood provides a once in a lifetime opportunity for unstructured play.” }
First, children will have enough time to study in the future[,] while childhood never comes back. When people look back on [their] past years[,] they like to remember a lot of sweet childhood memories. Needless to say, sweet moments don’t {avoid contractions in formal essays like this} occur at studying time but at [play] time with peers. For example, I remember myself as a child who liked playing with his friends with a plastic ball in alleys.{ this sounds a bit odd, like you would roam the town playing in various alleys - maybe better, “… ball in the alley behind our house.”} We played [for] hours [and hours, my closest buddies and I,] in alleys and never got tired. {I would not repeat the “alleys” but use this sentence to show how closeknit your friends were} I didn’t like to stay at home and study all day. {this sounds like you did have to stay home - maybe say “I disliked studying and was glad I did not have to stay cooped up in my house all day”} However, when I got older I understood the importance of education and allotted more time to study and became a diligent student[,] whereas you can’t expect a child to perceive the significance of education. {This sentence seemed pretty weak. The paragraph was great up until this point, but this sentence stresses that we should force children to study even though they don’t think it is important - that may be true, but this does not support your thesis} Therefore, we should allow children [the chance to] enjoy their childhoods and [focus more on] study [only] when they get older.
Secondly, studying is not the only way towards success. Some students simply don’t have an aptitude for subjects that are taught in schools[. Likewise,] [certain children] can’t adapt [to] formal education[,] while they [may be] brilliant in other fields such as sports, business, music or other kinds of art. {this sentence was a bit ungainly, so I split it up} For instance, I have a nephew who was not a keen pupil at school and he always got poor grades. One day, I brought him to a music concert, he got interested in playing DAF – that is a traditional Iranian instrumental music – {using dashes like this is too informal - stick to commas in formal essays} and his father sent him to a music class. {“enrolled him in a music class” sounds more polished} Now, he is 25 and is one of the best DAF players across the country [of Iran]. {or better "… players in all of Iran.} He [set] up his own music institute a few years ago [and] He has got too many [has so many pupils that he can depend] {here’s an interesting video on the difference between very, too, and so: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbJkuvV4lgg } on teaching music for his livelihood. Thus, we shouldn’t force children to spend most of their time on school studies if they are talented in other fields.
In sum, I believe that we should let children enjoy their childhood playing with their friends. By doing so, they will have good memories when they are adults and they may show talent in other fields. If I were a father, I would definitely allow my children play outdoors with their peers and grow up with happiness. {“with happiness” sounds a bit odd here - maybe “grow up happily” or “grow up with fond memories of a happy childhood.”} Permit your children play and enjoy [life]{“enjoy” almost always needs an object} , they will have enough time to study in the future.

[ahmad1]

Hi Luschen,
Thank you so much,
I really appreciate the time you spent to read and correct the essay.