saving money Vs spending money essay .Kindly rate for band 9

[Vinoth.prog]

Question :Some people think that they should spend money they earn now enjoying life,while others think that money should be put into savings for future.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It’s quiet apparent that many people earn sufficient money compared to last generation. There is also a debate whether we should lavishly spend money we earn or make some investment for upcoming generation. I strongly agree the fact that we should save the money we earn for the betterment of our kids and even ourselves.

Firstly, It is always good to save a part of our income for future use. As an illustration there are many people working in IT industry and their job is not always permanent. They have to face recession and layoffs at any point of time. If it is business it depends on market shares, and in agricultural field income is completely dependent on rain and climate. and also medically emergency can emerge even for people with younger age. So from all these facts we could clearly understand the need for saving our income.

On the contrary, We earn money only to live a luxurious life. In this modern society it has become a trend for everyone to dine out frequently, visit pubs,shopping malls, purchase fashionable products and plan world tour at least once in six months. People usually work in a stressful environment 5 days a week and they tend to enjoy the weekend to the core. According to a recent research, number of youths spending their hard earned money for enjoying life has increased drastically compared to previous years.

To conclude, even though spending money keeps us happy, its negative aspects overpower the beneficial ramifications. Hence it can be stated without a shadow of doubt that saving money for future will give us a confidence to face all the unexpected situations.

TOEFL listening discussions: How does Dr Beech characterize the assistantship?

[Luschen]

Hi Vinoth, I thought your essay was pretty good. You have addressed the prompt correctly and discussed both views as required. Your essay doesn’t really follow your thesis statement that well though, as you don’t talk about saving to better the life of of the next generation. Instead you focus on preparing for possible future calamities,
which is fine, but your thesis should reflect this. Your writing is pretty clear, but you do have a lot of small mistakes in grammar and word usage, especially with your articles, which makes much of your essay sound somewhat unnatural. Overall, I think I would rate this a band 6.

@Vinoth.prog

Question :Some people think that they should spend money they earn now enjoying life,while others think that money should be put into savings for future.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It’s [quite] apparent that many people earn sufficient {sufficient for what? It sounds a bit odd just on its own} money compared to [the previous] generation. There is also a debate whether we should lavishly spend money we earn or make some investment for [the] upcoming generation. I strongly agree [with] the fact that we should save the money we earn for the betterment of our kids and even ourselves. {this whole introduction seems a little disjointed - the ideas don’t really flow into each other and the transitions between sentences are too abrupt}

Firstly, It is always good to save a part of our income for future use. {this is a repetition of your thesis, not really a reason supporting your thesis - I would be more specific. I think your real reason here is that the future is uncertain, so one needs to be prepared for future difficulties} As an illustration[,] there are many people working in [the] IT industry and their job is not always permanent. They have to face recession[s ] and layoffs at any point [in] time. If it is business[,] it depends on market shares, and in [the] agricultural field {“field” might not be the best here, since I am not sure if you mean “area” or and actual field where crops are grown} income is completely dependent on rain and climate. and also [a medical] emergency can emerge even for people [of a] younger age. So from all these facts we could clearly understand the need for saving our income.

On the contrary, [ some people are convinced that w]e earn money only to live a luxurious life. In this modern society[, ] it has become a trend for everyone to dine out frequently, visit pubs, [go to] shopping malls, purchase fashionable products and plan world tour[s ] at least once [every] six months. People usually work in a stressful environment [five] {it is best to write out numbers, especially those less than 20} days a week and they tend to enjoy the weekend to the core. According to a recent research, [the] number of youths spending their hard earned money for enjoying life has increased drastically compared to previous years.

To conclude, even though spending money keeps us happy, its negative aspects overpower the beneficial ramifications. {I think you need to go into a little detail here explaining why the negative aspects overpower the positive ones} Hence it can be stated without a shadow of doubt that saving money for future will give us [the] confidence to face all the unexpected situations.

TOEFL listening discussions: How does Dr Beech characterize the assistantship?