pls rate my essay , thank you very much

[Jeofergin]

Compare and contrast the state universities and private universities in your country. Which one do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples.

University is a tremendous opportunity for people who graduate from high-school to broaden their horizon , but choosing a university is really an issue. There are two kind of universities and they are state universities and private universities .These sorts of universities have some similarities and differences due to a plenty of reasons as following statements . 

There are numerous similarities of these kind of universities .  Firstly, both the state universities and private universities provide approximately similar campus life for the students. For instance, all universities have their sports centers , libraries and some buildings to the activity clubs for the students .Like the private universities , the state universities have excellent lecturers . Although, the private universities’ lecturers’  salaries differ from the state universities’ lecturers’ , they teach same thing with the same quality . Last but not least , both have same education system. For example , in order to graduate from these universities they require four years for bachelor’s degree in my country .


Despite their similarities , they have also some important differences which make them special . In the first place ,  we can consider  the differences of the tuitions between these universities . For example ,  State universities are more convenient than the private universities due to their tuition differences for middle class of people .  The state universities’ graduate students must find a job with their searches .  On the contrary , the private universities offer their students some jobs after graduating or while graduating . Although , both provide a lot of facilities for the students , private universities facilities provides the best and the most quality service for their students.


As a result , the graduate students can choose both universities depending their tuitions , opportunities and offers . As far as I am concerned , the state universities are better than the private universities due to expenses of mine and my budget .

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Art History

[Luschen]

Hi, I thought this was a big improvement. I think you structure is very good. Your vocabulary is a little basic and you have some poor word choices. You also have a few unclear phrases and some grammar errors. Overall, I would rate this essay a 3.5 out of 5.

@Jeofergin

Compare and contrast the state universities and private universities in your country. Which one do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples.

University is a tremendous opportunity for people who graduate from high-school to broaden their horizon[s ] , but choosing a university is [s]really an issue[/s]{"definitely an important decision" sounds better}. There are two kind of universities[:] [s]and they are [/s]state universities and private universities .These sorts{"different types" sounds better} of universities have some similarities and differences due to a plenty of reasons as following statements .  {this thesis statement sounds awkward}

There are numerous similarities [s]of[/s][between] these kind{kind just doesn't seem to sound right when describing universities} of universities .  Firstly, both the state universities and private universities provide approximately similar campus life for the students. For instance, all universities have their sports centers , libraries and some buildings to [house] the activity clubs for the students .{remember, no space before periods, one space afterward} Like the private universities , the state universities have excellent lecturers . Although,{no comma} the private universities’ lecturers’  salaries differ from the state universities’ lecturers’ , they teach [the] same thing[s ] with the same quality . Last but not least , both have [the] same education system. For example , in order to graduate from these universities they require four years for [a] bachelor’s degree in my country .


Despite their similarities , [s]they[/s][public and private colleges] have also some important differences which make them special . In the first place ,  we can consider  the differences of the tuition[s]s[/s] between these universities {"institutions" would be a good synonym to use here}. For example ,  State{no cap} universities are more convenient{"affordable" is a better word here} than the private universities due to their [s]tuition differences[/s]{this is unclear - do you mean "reduced tuition"?} for middle class [s]of[/s] people .  The state universities’ graduate students must find a job [s]with their searches[/s][by searching on their own] .  On the contrary , the private universities offer their students some jobs after graduating or while graduating {"while graduating" does not make sense}. Although , both provide a lot of facilities for the students , private universities facilities provide[s]s[/s] the best and the most quality service for their students.


As a result , the graduate students can choose [s]both[/s][either type of] universities depending [on[ their tuition[s]s[/s] , opportunities and offers . As far as I am concerned , the state universities are better than the private universities due to [my] expenses [s]of mine[/s] and my budget .

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Art History