Please take a look at this essay and rate me :)

Topic: People attend college or university for many different reasons. Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

People study in college or university for many different reasons. I think the most important reason is to gain more knowledge and learn more skills. There are also many other reasons that people study in college such as to get more friends, and increase one’s self-confidence. These days, most jobs require people who are educated and have good job skills. Therefore, people who want a good job have to study hard and at least graduate with a high education.
Some people who study in college or university want to make more friends and increase their communication skills. They enjoy their lives in university or college and tend to socialize a lot. They can meet more people who have the similar interests. They can go play football after school and make more friends with who they trust.
People graduating from college seem more confident in our community. These people are more respected by society. Many people want to be respected and to be important by family, friends, their bosses, etc. They find that most of them can confidently talk and do their jobs as they are more educated. Therefore, most people want to get the confidence through the university or college study.
In today’s society, people need more knowledge and skills to be adapted. The university and college study is a good way to achieve this.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two students in a chemistry class

Hi, your writing is very natural and you have very few grammatical errors. You have used all your words correctly, although your vocabulary is fairly basic. Your essay seemed a bit disjointed though - it would be better if you used a more standard structure. Have you read these two web pages? They have some good information on how to structure an essay correctly. … -tips.html

Also, using more specific and personal examples would be helpful. You have a few example/statements, but they are pretty broad and general.

Overall, I would rate this a 3 out of 5.

Hi, this seems very different from the essay you submitted last week on this same topic. Was this one written by someone else, or did you write this one in a much shorter time than your previous one? Just wondering.

Yeah this one was written by someone else. Thank your Luschen :slight_smile: