Topic- Leader like John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King have made important contribution to the people of the United States. Name another world leader you think is important. Give specific reasons for your choice.
There are many people in this world who has spent their entire life to bring about positive changes for human kind like John F Kennedy, Martin Luther King of the United States. The leader whom I admire the most is Mohandas Gandhi because he was the leader of fight for independence of his nation India and he also led a fight for civil rights of black people in South Africa. Additionally, he united small kingdoms in to one nation, India. Furthermore, he helped for abolishment of certain traditional wrong customs of India like dowry, childhood marriage and many more.
First of all, his quality of leadership was unique. He led India to independence on non-violent way. By giving speech and doing a lot of work for independence like salt march, non cooperation with British government by not buying imported products, fasting for several days and many more. Same way in the fight for civil right in Africa he used united strategy of Muslim and Hindu Indians and led their right on non violent way. His act of non violence inspired many other nations. He always used to say, “My life is my message.” Live your lives in non violent way and spread peace across the world.
Secondly, even thought he was not member of any government organization he served him self as a public servant and along with Sardar Patel he took stapes to merge small kingdoms and become a nation. After getting independence from British government there were many parts which were under the rule of different kings. Gandhi and Patel collaboratively convinced kings and made those areas as a part of India. For example, before merging with India many states like Tamilnadu, Bihar, Goa, Kashmir, was small kingdoms.
Thirdly, M. Gandhi was the pioneer for the organizations which helps victims of wrong Indian traditional customs. Previously custom like childhood marriage was very common. To abolish this custom he opened many organizations which works for victim and helps them to get their rights. They also worked hard to make childhood marriage illegal and pass a law against it. At the end of the nineteenth century government passed a law for it.
In conclusion, he had done may work for humanity and tranquility of nation as well as human kind. That is why he is also known as “Mahatma Gandhi” (Great soul- Gandhi).
Hi, I think your writing is very good. This is a very long essay though - were you able to write this much in 30 minutes? You have a very clear structure and your arguments and examples are easy to follow. You seemed to have a few more grammatical errors and odd sounding phrases towards the ending of your essay, perhaps you were writing more quickly. Still, a good effort, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.
Hi, Luschen. Thanks a lot for your feedback. I think, I got to know how to write better and I will try my best. and yea it took 32min… that is why couldn’t write proper conclusion. What is the minimum word requirement for independent essay?
I don’t think there is one - I think the official guide says 250 words, but I have read the longer, the better. I think you can get a top score with about 350 words though. And repeating ideas to pad the length will not really help, not that you did that.