Please reivew my essay. Thanks a lot~~

In order to succeed, people should do the same things as others do.

It is often said that having a similar characteristic and quality with others is the best way to succeed because tendency to be different from others easily makes troubles with others in an aspect of teamwork. However, to be successful, I strongly believe that people had better to be unlike others for two reasons: being different from others sometimes creates big values or money, and people different from others within highly competitive society can be irreplaceable with others.

To begin with, people having different aspects from others sometimes suggest an innovative idea which is an important factor for big success. This is because they can acknowledge the unseen aspect of current situation which mostly come from their own tendency to watch the world, they are more likely to present new business ideas which make huge fortunes. For example, Jun Kim, one of the most successful investors in Korea, predicted 10 years ago that there would be a big boom of foreign funds. By taking this idea into reality, he became the first person who introduced the concept of foreign fund in Korea, and this brought huge amounts of profit with his business. One thing special about him is that he was not successful at school because of his different characteristic separated from regular curriculum. He said that his different view from others opened the eyes to look the investment chance, which has made him a financial magnate. Thus, different from others can offer newly insight which makes people successful.

In addition, competitive society in these days really requires people to be different from others. Since the development of education environment and information technology, companies have become easier to find many alternatives to replace workers. Actually, a lot of applicants with bachelor’s degree apply for getting a job, wanting to take the job positions with other workers are in. Also, nowadays companies do not absolutely rely on some people who have professional knowledge because they can find the knowledge and information through internet or other information source. Therefore, to be successful, people need to have special characteristics which cannot be replaced by others. For instance, Edward Kwon, a famous chef in a five star hotel in Dubai is well known for his unique cooking ability. Coming from his own cultural background and long time-practices, his talent is not hard to be replaced by others. This ability brings annual $ 2 million salary to him and there is no doubt that this uniqueness is the key to success.

In brief, I firmly believe that people who want to be successful need to be different from others because successful ideas mostly come from different view or characteristics and uniqueness makes people not be changed by others, bringing a lot of money. In any societies around the world, rareness can be valued and stem from the inclines of being different.

TOEFL listening discussions: Where does this conversation most likely take place?

It is often said that having a similar characteristic and quality with others is the best way to succeed because tendency to be different from others easily makes troubles with others in an aspect of teamwork. However, to be successful, I strongly believe that people had better to be unlike others for two reasons: being different from others sometimes creates big values or money, and people different from others within highly competitive society can be irreplaceable with others.

To begin with, people WHO havE different aspects from others sometimes suggest an innovative idea which is an important factor for a big success. This is because they can acknowledge the unseen aspect of current situation which mostly comeS from their own tendency to watch the world, they are more likely to present new business ideas which make huge fortunes. For example, Jun Kim, one of the most successful investors in Korea, predicted 10 years ago that there would be a big boom of foreign funds. By taking this idea into reality, he became the first person who introduced the concept of foreign fund in Korea, and this brought huge amounts of profit with his business. One thing special about him is that he was not successful at school because of his different characteristic separated from regular curriculum. He said that his different view from others opened the eyes to look AT the investment chance, which has made him a financial magnate. Thus, different from others can offer newly insightS which makes people successful.

In addition, competitive society in these days really requires people to be different from others. Since the development of education environment and information technology, companies have become easier to find many alternatives to replace workers. Actually, a lot of applicants with bachelor’s degree apply for getting a job, wanting to take the job positions with other workers are in. Also, nowadays companies do not absolutely rely on some people who have professional knowledge because they can find the knowledge and information through internet or other information source. Therefore, to be successful, people need to have special characteristics which cannot be replaced by others. For instance, Edward Kwon, a famous chef in a five star hotel in Dubai is well known for his unique cooking ability. Coming from his own cultural background and long time-practices, his talent is not hard to be replaced by others. This ability brings annual $ 2 million salary to him and there is no doubt that this uniqueness is the key to success.

In brief, I firmly believe that people who want to be successful need to be different from others because successful ideas mostly come from different view or characteristics and uniqueness makes people not be changed by others, bringing a lot of money. In any societies around the world, rareness can be valued and stem from the inclines of being different.


Good Essay!:slight_smile: