Please rate this independent essay for me, Luschen! Thanks a lot

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Advertisements mislead consumers by making their products and services look or sound better than they really are.

Advertisements have been associated with the development of business and the national economy for thousands of year. From the beginning of the humankind up to present, a lot of sellers tried to introduce and advertise their products to the buyers in order to sell their goods and gain the profit as much as possible. Throughout the years, especially in the modern life, advertisements have developed in various ways, becoming the valuable marketing tools of many commercial companies. However, many people have the misconception about the advertisements that this form of marketing misleads consumers by making their products and services look or sound better than they really are. On the other hand, I personally disagree with that statement. Advertisements are very important nowadays; they may help customers have good choices, and support producers sell goods or services easier.

First of all, advertisements provide the necessary information for customers in order to help them purchase goods or services effectively. Customers will easily understand the use of products they want to buy and the difference among multiple choices. Furthermore, the information is provided through advertisements help customers prevent the fraudulent in purchasing products, recognize the fake goods or underestimated services. For example, drug is a kind of necessary goods in daily life, but choosing a suitable drug for the patient is very difficult. Advertisements on television or daily newspaper help customers understand which kind of drugs used for reducing pain, which kind of drugs used for heart attack patient. Therefore, customers can depend on the information they know through advertisements in order to select their own drugs.

In addition, a lot of companies use advertisements as a necessary marketing tool which help them sell their goods or services as much as possible. The better advertisements the companies use, the more products they sell; thus, they can earn more profit from selling those products. If customers purchase a product from one company and they feel satisfy about the use of this product, that company will be received the positive evaluation by its customers. This will lead to the fact that the company has the ability to increase its competitiveness in the market. For instance, the software computer company A and B are two famous computer companies. Last month, they introduced the new antivirus software at the same time. While the company A distributed this new software in every branch and utilized advertisements on TV to introduce this product, the company B invest a great amount of money on advertising. It used various kinds of advertisements such as TV, newspapers, magazines, radio, or even leaflets. The customers bought this product would be given a bonus like USB or computer mouse. Therefore, the quantity of customers who bought the antivirus software as well as the profit of this company would be increased.

In conclusion, I wholeheartedly believe that advertisements hold the most important positions on improving the relationship between customers and producers. They not only provide the essential information of the products for the customers, they also help the producers earn more money from purchasing goods and services. Thus, there is no doubt that this marketing tool is the indispensable part of our lives.

TOEFL listening lectures: An organism that generates internal heat is called what?

Hi Dieu, I thought you had a good format here and some good ideas to support your arguments. Your writing was generally pretty clear, but you had some grammatical mistakes and errors in usage throughout that made parts of your essay sound pretty unnatural. Overall, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.

Thank you so much! I’m sure that I have learnt a lot from your comment!

Actually in Vietnam, if your disease is not quite dangerous such as headache, flu, you can go to the drug shop to buy medicines. People don’t want to go to visit doctor because it may waste their time.

Yes, it is similar in the US. It just seems like most people already know what medicines to take for a headache and which ones for a stuffy nose. Maybe I am too cynical, but it seems to me that
most of the ads tend to imply that their product will cure almost anything and they always minimize the side effects.

oh, I understood what you say :slight_smile: thank you so much!!!