Please, rate my essay :)

Prompt: Many people have learned a foreign language in their home country; others have learned it in the country in which it is spoken. What is better? Get the advantages of each and support your viewpoint.

Essay:

Generally speaking, I believe that there is indisputable importance of learning languages. Why? There are many reasons but the most important reasons for me is definitely the ability to communicate when you travel to foreign country or that there is higher possibility to get hired by a company if you are able to speak more than one language. There is now question if it is better to study languages at your home country or abroad. I believe, that both options have certain advantages and disadvanteges and I will discuss them.
First, studying foreign language in your home country is for sure cheaper than studying abroad. I am now talking about studying a language at school and according my experience and conditions. For instance, in my country we do not pay for school or university. There are no tuition fees and other neccessary expenses are very low in comparison to western europe. Moreover, when you take some private course in addition to regular language education at your school it is usually not so expensive. On the other hand, the disadvantage of studying this way is definitely the result. Yo will not learn as much as If you go abroad and I believe that it is equally enjoyable.
Second, studying languages abroad means more fun and more developed language skills.To be honest, the biggest advantage is that you will learn many things at one time. You will know other culture, meet new people and simply spend great time. For instance, my language course in London was the best experience in my life. I met a lot of new pople who are my friends even now and I learned there ten times more than here in my country. Further, it was more entertaining way how to learn the language itself. Yes, you spend couple of hours studying grammar and other boring stuff at school but we also had trips around London or we played football every sunday at the playing field in front of our school. In the evening we had meetings in local bars or pubs and talked about our hobbys, countries or traditions. Conversely, this trip was really expensive for me and I had to work the whole summer to pay all the expenses but I can definitely say that it worth working so hard.
I am pretty sure that from the information mentioned above you can conclude my preference. Yes, you are right. I prefer studying languages abroad because I think we can compare it to succesfull way how my father taught me to swim. He just threw me to the water when I was young and told me to try to swim. I think that you can see my point here. I was terified for the first few seconds but I had to try swimming because instead I would drown myself. It worked and the same it was with my trip to England. I had zero experience and there was no other option then speaking english.

words: 497
time: 30 min.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why is Carlos Finlay significant?

Hi, I thought your essay was very good. It is very interesting and informative. It has a good structure apart from your transitions. Your grammar is very good and your vocabulary is too. You have a few sentences construction issues that make some phrases sound unnatural or unclear, but overall, I liked it. I would rate this a 4 out of 5.