please mr Luschen check my writing !

Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (3/7)

Women, but not men, are often believed to be held accountable for their children’s upbringing. Many claim that this fact sounds plausible as men, at the same time, serve as breadwinners in families. Nevertheless, I subscribe to the idea that only mothers can by no means grant their offspring the best caring and education, which calls for fatherhood.

It is first argued that though men are, as usual, seen as superior, gender equity has been recognized, which spurs women to devote themselves to working and befriending others. No sooner have women taken steps to social events then they are bound to spare less time with their kids. That is why fatherly missions are highlighted. Facts have shown that once women can share equal financial responsibilities with their husbands, men have to spontaneously do house chores as well as look after their babies. Economically speaking, both parents are supposed to join hands to make money in order to provide their children with good caring and education.

Psychologically speaking, according to some social studies, as a consequence of their fathers’ absence, children may grow up abnormally as only mothers cannot satisfy their curiosity all the time, especially when boys are stepping to puberty. To make the matter worse, no sooner have children kids been left by their dads then they unavoidably end up getting into troubles, say, mental disorders and sexual disorientation. In a word, fatherhood plays such a pivotal role in bringing children up in terms up health and psychology. Once fathers realize that their kids need them for protection and consultation, they will, with their wives, make equal contributions to raising their beloved offspring.

All in all, I do believe that though mothers are often viewed as liable for the wellbeing of their babies, fathers actually serve real purposes in helping their spouses to educate and care their kids equitably.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor mention New York Harbor?

Hi, I thought this one was a bit rough. Your grammar is not too bad, but some of your ideas were not that convincing and there seemed to be some gaps in development and logic - there was a lot of leaping to conclusions without enough examples to support your statements. You also had some awkward and ambiguous phrases here and there. Still, your writing was not too bad, I just think the content could have been better. I would rate it a 3.5 out of 5.