please help with an IELTS essay. thanks very much.

Some groups, such as poor people and people from rural areas, think universities should make it especially easy for them to get access to university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There has been a significantly increasing number of population joining a university over the past few decades. Some people proclaim that a lower requirement of the access to a university should be offered for students form disadvantaged backgrounds. In my opinion, I totally agree with the statement and will discuss several reasons in the essay.

It is indispensable to provide an easier channel in order to recruit more people from remote or poor areas for university education. First of all, teaching materials and resources are usually found scarce in a region far away from a city. Without these facilities, it is challenging to conduct teaching activities in a classroom; students, as a result, in such a disadvantaged learning environment, have already scarified many opportunities to learn better. Numerous schools also are located miles away from remote villages which may require school children to spend double or triple time in traveling in order to attend school education. Compared to students in a city, where schools are just nearby them, these people absolutely have more time focusing on their academic performance. These reasons all explain disadvantaged students are required more attention from the public.

Some people may argue that offering an easy access to a university for disadvantaged groups would waste resources and would do little help. However, I would say such an argument is truly based on the false ground for helping the minority groups to a university is certainly a great effort to develop their independence and to enhance their survival changes in a competitive society. No one would like to see that people from disadvantaged backgrounds are rejected by a society and are forced to commit crimes as a secure life cannot be met. In this case, a society may need to pay a higher price and more resources are needed fro figuring the problem out.

To sum up, it is definitely necessary to look after underprivileged groups by providing a less complicated access for university education. Otherwise, more problems may be addressed in society.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture in the Social Sciences Department

Hi Hannah, I thought your essay was very good. You have a good structure, although I think the thesis statement could be a bit stronger. Your vocabulary is excellent and your words are used correctly for the most part. You do have some grammar errors here and there and some sentences which sound a bit awkward and unnatural. Overall, I would rate this a band 6.