Please help me in my essay For IELTS Thank you

ielts

#1

The title: The internet has made knowledge immediately available to people through computers and smartphones all around the world. Much of this knowledge is also free. Discuss the advantages and Disadvantages of this trend.
My essay:
There is no doubt that these days the internet is the global system of knowledge. However, the question: the internet access to knowledge is easily for people by computer and smartphone in global. And the major of information is free. In this essay I am gaining to discuss the benefits and the drawbacks of this trend.

On one side of the argument there are people who argue that the benefits considerably outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is students are used to accessing to a broad of information by the internet to investigated the alternatives. Wikipedia, for example, is a best resource for researcher to be capable to explore new knowledge in short time. Moreover,it is also possible to say that the internet is upload an application that is a tool for assist human’ life to be more easily. App store has many application and several of them is useful. One good illustration of this is google map. Google map is a service to reach the exactly directe and location. There are numerous of advantage for internet.

On the other hand, it is also possible to consider it with the opposing case. It is often argued that in fact the internet is waste students time. Students spend many hours online without feasibility. Internet is a broad site that could have loss students time. People often have this opinion because some students unable to be specific when they searched or may not be received a genuine information.

A second point is that the internet is one way to use the bullying; it is a serious problem that impacted on people in both long and short term. Particularly good example here is teenagers in high school are suffer of cyberbullying from per or strangers. The disadvantages is also can be a dark side of internet.

In conclusion, as we seen, there are advantages and disadvantages to online knowledge. However, people whose decision is determined by their choice.


#2

Hi Maha, I think you addressed the prompt correctly and your essay format is good for this type of question, as long as you combine your third and fourth paragraphs, as I have below. This makes sure you have all of your advantages in one paragraph and all of the disadvantages in another paragraph. You have some good ideas here, but your essay was very hard to read because you had so many small errors in usage and sentence structure. You can see that with only small changes, your writing in my corrected version sounds much more natural. I think you need to keep working on your grammar and forming sentences correctly, because your content is already very good. Here are some specific suggestions:


#3

I mean people have to decided which the decision to use the internet, so they can choice which ways they have to use … is advantage or disadvantage?
So I use whose as a relative
People’s decisions is determine what is the best for them; are the advantages or disadvantages is better for them.


#4

I really appreciate your correct.


#5

Ok, I understand better now. Your original sentence was not a sentence, it was just a noun clause - “people” needs a verb - what do these people do, or what should they do? Maybe

In conclusion, as we have seen, there are advantages and disadvantages to online knowledge. Therefore, people who choose to make the internet a big part of their lives must weigh the benefits and be careful to avoid the pitfalls of this powerful technology.

Here the noun clause is “people who choose to make the internet a big part of their lives” This whole clause is the subject. Now we need a verb - what do these people do. In my sentence the verbs are “must weigh” and “be”. {careful is actually an adjective - only “be” is the verb} So now it is a complete sentence - People must weigh and be careful.


#6

Thank you for explain.
I made sentence
In conclusion, as we have seen, there are advantages and disadvantages to online knowledge. Therefore, people who are use the online information are judge what is the best choice for them.


#7

What about the conclusion I made


#8

Yes Maha, that conclusion is much better. There is still one small error though:

In conclusion, as we have seen, there are advantages and disadvantages to online knowledge. Therefore, people who are use the online information are [the ultimate] {or “the best judge”} judge [of] what is the best choice for them.


#9

Thank you so much for your help


#10

So you mean I have to start a new paragraph [quote=“Luschen, post:2, topic:146492”]
do not start another paragraph here}
[/quote]


#11

May I know some explain for what in between [ ] …. Thank you
There is no doubt that these days the internet serves as a global system of knowledge. However, this raises the question: is being able to tap into this knowledge base via one’s computer or smartphone always a good thing? and the majority of information online is free. In this essay I intend to discuss the benefits and the drawbacks of this trend.

On one side of the argument there are people who argue that the benefits [of using the online knowledge] considerably outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is students can easily access to a broad range of information by the internet, allowed them to investigate the alternatives. Wikipedia, for example, is the best resource for researchers to be capable to exploring [ why exploring not explore —- I thought the word after to is base verb] knowledge in a short time. Moreover, it is also possible to that the internet is allowed users to upload an application that is a tool to assist life to be easier. An App store has many applications and several of them are useful. One good illustration of this is Google map. Google map is a service that help users to reach an exactly location by giving them detailed directions. There are numerous of advantages of the Internet.

On the other hand, it is also possible to consider that the internet has disadvantages as well [with the opposing case]. It is often argued that in fact the internet is a waste of students’ time. Students spend many hours online without achieving any benefits. The Internet is wide ranging and provides access to many frivolous sites that could result in a loss students’ time. Another reason people often have this negative opinion of the Internet is because some students are unable to be specific when they search for answers on a topic or may not receive genuine information.

A third point is that the internet is one way to allow the bullying; it is a serious problem that impact [ why it is not impacted] people in both long and short term. A particularly good example here is teenagers in high school are suffering [ why it is not suffer ] cyberbullying from their peers or from strangers. These disadvantages show that there also can be a dark side to the internet.

In conclusion, as we have seen, there are advantages and disadvantages to online knowledge.Therefore people who use the online information are the ultimate judge of what is the best choice for them.


#12

No, in your original essay you began a new paragraph with “A second point is that …” This should be combined with the previous paragraph.


#13

Hi, I use these brackets [ ] for corrections. I use these brackets { } for comments. [This is a correction.] {This is a comment.}


#14

Yes I understand but I mean why u change these word. It is because the tense ?


#15

I mean why you change some word like explor to exploring?


#16

Sorry Maha, I understand now. Here are some explanations for your questions:

The correct term is “capable of exploring”. Sometimes the infinitive, to + base verb, is used in certain situations and sometimes a gerund, base verb + ing, is used. Both of these are ways to make a verb act like a noun, but you usually just have to memorize when a gerund is used and when an infinitive is used.

“capable of exploring” CORRECT
“capable to explore” INCORRECT
“ready to explore” CORRECT
“ready for exploring” CORRECT, but could be a little unclear - ready to explore or ready to be explored?
“tired to explore” INCORRECT
“tired of exploring” CORRECT
“excited to explore” CORRECT
“excited of exploring” INCORRECT

As you can see, there really isn’t a rule here, so learners just have to memorize the correct usages. One point is that for the object of a preposition, we nearly always use the gerund from, not the infinitive. So “capable/ready/tired/excited of to explore” would never be correct

You said “it is a serious problem”, so it is better to keep impact in the present tense to match “is”.

Either “teenagers in high school are suffering” or “teenagers in high school suffer” would work here. “Are suffering” means it is happening now. “Suffer” implies that this is a repeated or regular occurrence. Your original essay said “are suffer”, which is never correct.


#18

Hi. That are really helpful.
I made a deep research for ( infinitive and gerund) there are some verb is coming with gerund and some with infinitive.
Thank you so much