Please help me edit my TOEFL essay - WEEK9

Your friend is going to reduce living expenses, what of the following way would you recommend to your friend and why? Find a roommate or housemate to share the living expenses; buy some technology products(like the latest mobile phone) less frequently; shop for less expensive food to cook at home or go to the restaurant less frequently.

Most people live alone in a renting apartment with high living expenses. Some of them are struggling to reduce the living expenses by looking for a roommate to share live expenses, purchasing technology product less frequently, or buying discount food and cooking at home. If my friend asked me for advice, I would probably say the most practical and effective solution would be finding a roommate decline the living expenses.

There is much to be said for having roommate to live together. Firstly, as well as sharing monthly renting fee, a roommate can also bears half of the cost of utilities, both of which are inevitable expenses in each month bill. To illustrate, I have been sharing a apartment with my friend since I graduated in 2017. Including rent, utilities, wifi, and property management fee, each of us paid around RMB1,500 each month, which means both of us have been saving about RMB18,000 a year. In contrast, my colleague, who lives alone, has spent third fouth of her salary to pay for thoes fee alone, much less than to have some deposit. Therefore, for the sake of reduction of living expenses, I would highly recommend my friend to find a housemate.

Having a roommate could be in favour of to the decrease in demand of technology product and a encouragement for cooking at home rather than going to restaurants. The merits of living with other people is that they can share whatever they have to each other, including electric products and food. For example, my computor that I only used for a few times a month, was accidentially broken. When I was planning to buy a new one, my roommate said she would love to share hers to me so that I could save the money. Moreover, most people dislike having dinner alone for the reasons that it is hard to cook for only one person; and it is too much work for one person to cook everyday. However, two people can have more choices and lessen the amount of work. For instance, I and my roommate usually have 3 dishes each time and we cook in turn. Hence, I would advice my friend to look for a roommate to achieve her goal of diminishing spent.

In summary, through living with a roommate, people can not only to reduce their living expense like rent and utilities, but also to diminish the demands for purchasing electric product and having dinner ouside. It is fair to say that finding a roommate to share living expenses is the best way to cut down the living budget.

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Hi, please find an amended version of your essay below.

Most people live alone in a rented apartment with a high cost of living. Some of them make efforts to reduce the cost of living by looking for a roommate to share the living expenses, buying technology products less frequently, or buying food at a discount and cooking at home. If my friend asked me for advice, I would probably say that the most practical and effective solution is to find a roommate to reduce living expenses.

There is a lot to be said for having a roommate to live with. First, a roommate can not only share the monthly rental fee, but also pay half the cost of utilities, both of which are unavoidable expenses in any monthly bill. To illustrate, I have been sharing an apartment with my boyfriend since I graduated in 2017. Including rent, utilities, wifi, and property management fees, we each paid about 1,500 RMB every month, which means we both saved about 18,000 RMB per year. In contrast, my colleague, who lives alone, spent one-third of her salary to pay these fees alone, much less than a security deposit. Therefore, to reduce the cost of living, I would strongly recommend my friend to get a roommate.

Having a roommate could help reduce the demand for technology products and encourage cooking at home instead of going to restaurants. The advantage of living with other people is that they can share everything they have, including electrical products and food. For example, my computer, which I only used a few times a month, was accidentally broken. When I went to buy a new one, my roommate said she would be happy to share hers with me so I could save the money. Also, most people don’t like to eat dinner alone because it’s hard to cook for just one person, and it’s too much work for one person to cook every day. However, with two people, you can have more choices and reduce the amount of work. For example, me and my roommate usually always have 3 dishes and we take turns cooking. Therefore, I would advise my friend to get a roommate to achieve her goal of reducing expenses.

In summary, living with a roommate can not only reduce living expenses such as rent and utilities, but also reduce the requirements of buying electrical appliances and eating out. It is fair to say that finding a roommate to share the living expenses is the best way to reduce the living budget.

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