Please help edit my TOEFL essay. Thank you so much!

[SarahChau]

Which one of the following do you think is the best way to get to know a city in a limited amount of time when you first visit it? Touring historic sites; going to markets or shops; eating in restaurants or spending time in cafes.

With an increasing of income, traveling has been included in an annual to-do-list of more and more peoples’. During their vacation, people generally spend their time on visiting historic sites, going to markets or shops, or looking for a restaurant or cafes to eat. However, what is the best way to get to konw a city in a limited amount of time has been provoked a strong argument in the social media. From my perspective, , I believe that the historic sites is the most necessary places to visit if people want to get to know a city in a finite amount of time.

One of the reason why people should tour historic sites is that people can learn about the city’s origin from it. The historic sites remain original substantially. Moreover, the bulk of items in the historic sites stay in the same place where they were first found, which allow people to put themselves into the past. For example, like most of the people, I learned history from books. When I first visited the forbidden city, I could witnessed a series of past events at that monment. Therefore, I recomend that people should take a tour to the historic sites if they only travel the city for couple of days.

People should journey to the historic sites in the factor of understanding the city’s culture. First, The buildings, products, pictures that were created from the past go far beyone an object, it is more about the culture of an area of particular time. To illustrate. The Terracotta Army, a historic sites where the thousands of clay models of soldiers, horses, and chariots were created in order to accompany the founder of dynastic Qin after he dead. When I first traveled there, I sighted how autocrative, repressive the empire Qin was. In addition, to build such an extraodinary mausoleum by human power, how many citizens were asked into this difficult task. From that experience, I had a deep understanding of the Qin dynastic. As a result, a piece of my advice is that visitng historic sites is unequivocally the best way to get to know a city.

In spite of geting to know a city by touring the hisotric sites, people can also learn its history by talking to local people while drinking at the cafe or eating at the restaurant. Nevertheless, by visiting the exact place where the historic event ocurred, people can put themselve into the mist of history.

To sum up, there are many different ways to know about a city during traveling. For instance, going to the local market, living in an airbnb and talking to the host, or trying the local food are the good ways to get to know the city. But when it comes to the most essential way, touring to the historic site is most recommended.

[Torsten]

Please find an amended version of your essay below.

As incomes rise, travel is on the annual to-do list of more and more people. While on vacation, people usually spend their time visiting historical sites, going to markets or stores, or finding a restaurant or café to eat at. The question of how best to get to know a city in a limited period of time has sparked a heated discussion on social media. In my opinion, historical sites are the most important places to visit if you want to get to know a city in a limited period of time.

One of the reasons why you should visit historical sites is that you can learn something about the origin of the city there. The historical sites are essentially original. Also, most items in historic sites remain in the place where they were first found, which allows people to step back in time. I, for example, like most people, learned history from books. When I first visited the Forbidden City, I was able to witness a number of events from the past. Therefore, I recommend people to take a tour to the historical sites if they are only going to the city for a few days.

People should travel to the historical sites to understand the culture of the city. Firstly, the buildings, products and images created in the past are much more than just an object, they are rather an expression of the culture of a certain period. To illustrate. The Terracotta Army, a historical site where thousands of clay models of soldiers, horses and chariots were created to accompany the founder of the Qin Dynasty after his death. When I first traveled there, I realized how autocratic and repressive the Qin Empire was. I also realized how many citizens were entrusted with this difficult task to build such an extraordinary mausoleum with human power. Through this experience, I had a deep understanding of the Qin Dynasty. Therefore, one piece of advice from me is that visiting historical sites is clearly the best way to learn about a city.

Even though you learn about a city by visiting historical sites, you can also learn its history by talking to the locals while drinking at a cafe or eating at a restaurant. However, by visiting the place where the historical event took place, one can get into the mist of history.

In summary, there are many different ways to learn about a city while traveling. For example, you can visit the local market, stay in a guesthouse and talk to your host, or try the local food to learn about the city. But when it comes to the most important way, visiting a historical site is the most recommended.