please grade my integrated essay...

The secong part of the video 3:40:TOEFL writing test 2 3 - YouTube

HERE IS TEXT 2 (You have 3 minutes to read it and take notes)

Throughout the United States, rural and remote areas have been medically underserved with relatively fewer resources and less staff than urban areas. This is at least partly due to the fact that it is difficult to recruit trained medical professionals doctors in particular to rural areas.

One main reason for this difficulty is that young doctors in the rural areas do not have as many financial benefits as urban doctors. For recent graduates from medical schools, who have accumulated heavy debts to finance their studies, financial factors typically dictate where they start their practices. Since the remuneration from the large hospitals in urban areas is far from more lucrative than that of the typical small clinics in remote areas, large cities are more attractive to new doctors than the countryside.

In addition to economic issues, rural areas have little to offer either new or experiences doctors in terms of professional development. Large hospitals in the cities offer new doctors a supportive community of experiences professionals from whom they can ask advice. However, since the vast majority of the skilled physicians are likely to seek the higher salaries available in urban areas, new doctors who elect to start their practices in remote locations are often completely isolated. Furthermore, the new fellow doctors they do have access to are less likely to be knowledgeable in the latest medical practices.

Lastly, urban life is more attractive to young doctors compared to the slow-paced life in rural areas. They imagine that their work will not be stimulating enough due to the small number of patients available and that life will be monotonous and uninteresting for them as the country lacks the culture and nightlife of the cities. Hence, young doctors seem to believe urban areas offer more excitement for both their professional lives.

My essay:

The reading states that it is a big problem to recruit doctors for rural areas as it is less beneficial for them to work in countryside. However, in the lecture the professor refutes that sometimes it is more lucrative for doctors to work in small cities and argues each point.
First, the article affirms that large cities are more attractive as there are more financial benefits for young doctors rather than in rural areas. However, the professor contends that young doctors can avail themself of working in rural areas, as the government may give them financial advantages to pay off their loans. Furthermore, the lecturer points out that despite doctors in countryside make less money the cost of living there is lower.
Second, rural areas provide less opportunities for doctors to grow and make a good career. The professor says that in the twenty first century with the technological advancement people can have access to the internet from all parts of the world. Doctors will have a chance to obtain all kind of information and keep up with the news of the world. Hence the modern technology will help to eliminate the problem of being isolated.
Finally, the passage says that the life in rural areas in uninteresting, dull and the pace of life is very slow. However, the lecturer refutes that some people enjoy the serene and quiet atmosphere in rural areas. Moreover, he states that government attract more doctors into rural areas by providing them with tax advantages.

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Hi, I think you did a good job with this essay. You captured all of the points from the lecture and presented them quite clearly. You did have a few problems in structuring your essay - make sure to explicitly state that the lecture contradicts the reading in each area. You also had a few problems with your sentence structure, but this did not really interfere with the clarity of your ideas. I would rate this a 4.5 out of 5.