Please give me advice for my essay. Thank you so much

[thaodang119]

Scientists predict in the near future cars will be driven by computer not people, why?

Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Due to technological advancements, many researchers forecast that conventional vehicles would be replaced by driverless ones in next few years. I believe that such development must have been impacted on society positively.

There are many reasons explaining why science experts make this prediction. The principle reason is that machines have substituted for manual labor in various fields from house chores to production process since the birth of robotics, Artificial Intelligence. Therefore, the development of autonomous car is also a considerable concern of innovators. Another reason is that people must take large amount of time to commute, if computer-controlled cars are available, human are likely to get more time to sleep, or watch favorite television shows, or even work. There are many other reasons prove that advance of automated car would be a prevalent phenomenon in the near future.

Furthermore, such self-driving cars will bring enormous benefits to human life. Firstly, they could help curtail the number of fatal accidents that caused by human flaws, irresponsibility such as exceeding speed limit, distraction, inebriated state while driving. Thus, the roads get safer for travellers, cyclist, or even pedestrians, if the traditional cars have no driver behind the wheel, as machines can make a greater calculation than human do. Secondly, there are more people getting access to use the car. As people can drive without taking any rigorous tests to become a certified deriver, or the elderly and the disabled also experience the independence on travelling car.

In conclusion, it is plausible for scientists to anticipate that autonomous car will be unveiled in the foreseeable future. I trust that such automated vehicles shall make positive changes to society.

[Luschen]

Hi Nancy, I enjoyed reading your essay. Torsten I believe is interested in this topic. Scientists seem to always say “driverless cars are five years away”, but they have been saying this for the last 15 years, and all the cars I see on the road still seem to have drivers!
Anyway, back to your essay. Make sure that your thesis statement addresses all parts of the prompt. Your thesis should have two parts - the first part of your thesis should state that there are many reasons why scientists are forecasting autonomous vehicles, and the second part, which you have included, should give your opinion. Please see my comment about your first paragraph - be careful not to mix up the reasons for the development of autonomous cars with the impact such cars will have. Here are some specific suggestions:

@thaodang119

Due to technological advancements, many researchers forecast that conventional vehicles [will] be replaced by driverless ones in [the] next few years. I believe that such development must have been impacted on society positively. [will surely have a positive impact on society.]

There are many reasons explaining why science experts make this prediction [of autonomous vehicles]. {try to refer back to the prompt in each topic sentence} The principle reason is that machines have [been] substituted for manual labor in various fields[,] from house chores to production [processes] since the birth of robotics [and artificial intelligence.] Therefore, the development of autonomous [cars] is also a considerable concern {concern has a negative connotation - a more positive choice would be “a considerable impetus to innovators”} of innovators. Another reason is that people must take [a] large amount of time to commute[. If] computer-controlled cars are available, [humans] are likely to get more time to sleep, or watch [their] favorite television shows, or even work. There are many other reasons [that] prove that advance of automated car would be a prevalent phenomenon in the near future. {this last reason is a benefit, so I think it belongs in the second paragraph, not here. The reason is that people are demanding self driving cars because they want to save time, so stress that demand in this paragraph, not the benefit}

Furthermore,{I think “As a result” is better here - this is a consequence or a result of the previous paragraph, not an addition} such self-driving cars will bring enormous benefits to human life. Firstly, they could help curtail the number of fatal accidents that [are] caused by human flaws[ and] irresponsibility such as exceeding [the] speed limit, distraction, inebriated state while driving. {make this structure parallel by changing it to “… such as exceeding the speed limit, becoming distracted, or driving while in an inebriated state.” This was you have three “ing” verbs, which sounds much better} Thus, the roads get safer for travellers, [cyclists], or even pedestrians, if the traditional cars have no driver behind the wheel, as machines can make [faster] [calculations] than [humans] do. Secondly, there [will be] more people getting access to [using a] car. As people can drive without taking any rigorous tests to become a certified deriver, or the elderly and the disabled also experience the independence on travelling car. {this is not a complete sentence}

In conclusion, it is plausible for scientists to anticipate that autonomous car will be unveiled in the foreseeable future. I trust that such automated vehicles shall make positive changes to society.

[thaodang119]

Honestly, I realize that it is so easy for me to write a essay after using your guides. I took a long time to read newspaper related to the topic, but I can’s write them into my essay. And this is my essay after consulting your advices.

It is true that advances in technologies have led scientists to forecast that computer-controlled car will substitute for conventional cars in the next few years. In my opinion, such advancement must change human life in positive ways.

There are many reasons explaining why scientists make the prediction of autonomous vehicles in the near future. The principle reason is that machines have increasingly replaced manual labors in various fields from house chores to production in factories since the birth of robotics and the Artificial Intelligence. Thus, driverless cars will provide innovators impetus for reform. Another reason is that the first of prototype of self-driving car were invented in the UK by researchers from reputable universities such as Oxford University, Cambridge University and British government granted them permission to test in public roads in this country. There are two and many other reasons proving that the substitution of human-controlled car for automated cars would be made.

As a result, human being will derive immense benefits from the development of automatous vehicle. First, automated cars would be able to curtail the number of car collisions caused by human errors and irresponsibility including exceeding speed limit, becoming distracted, driving in intoxicated state. Thus, if self-controlling cars are available, roads will be safer for travellers, or even pedestrians as machines are able to make faster and more exact calculations than human does. Second, they will provide opportunities for more people to travel independently. In fact, they would no need a driving license to drive self-driving cars, people will not take any rigorous test before becoming a certified driver. People who have mobility difficulties such as the elderly, the disabled would be able to experience independence on travelling.

In conclusion, it is plausible for scientists to anticipate that autonomous cars would take over the human-driven cars in the foreseeable future. I suppose that they shall make positive changes to society.

[thaodang119]

there is another essay talking about nagative impact of self-driving cars. Please give me advice. Thanks (It is too bad,I think)
Scientists predict in the near future cars will be driven by computer not people, why? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

It is true that technological breakthroughs achieved over the past decades led scientists forecast that computer-driven cars will substitute for conventional car in the next few years. In my opinion, I believe that such replacement must have negative impacts to human life.

There are many evidences explaining why scientists make the prediction of autonomous vehicles. First, the first invention of self-driving car was designed by several British engineers, which used satellite system to transmit information and automated navigation system to determine an accurate location. Although it has been in development, the dream of driverless car came true. Second, due to the rapid development of technology, the British government finally grants automated cars permission for testing them in public roads in the countries. It is therefore reasonable for scientists anticipate that the age of self-driving vehicles is rapidly approaching.

As a result, the invention of autonomous vehicles would produce side effects to society. To begin with, the unemployment rate will be on the rise and then cause social problems. Obviously, if cars, trucks, taxis are able to drive themselves, people who ear living by driving would suddenly become redundant, and it will be difficult for them to quickly find a new job. Social evils, consequently, must arise due to unemployment. Next, a safety of human would not been guaranteed by hackers. Since robotic vehicles would entirely be controlled by hardware and software of computer and attackers could find security holes in any sophisticated system to take over and control it purposefully.

In conclusion, there are many plausible reasons for scientists predict that human-controlled will be replaced by robotic ones in the near future. I trust that the replacement will have negative impacts on human life.

[Luschen]

Hi, I think this one was organized much more clearly - great improvement!

@thaodang119

It is true that advances in technologies have led scientists to forecast that computer-controlled [cars] will [be substituted] for {or better, “will replace conventional”} conventional cars in the next few years. In my opinion, such advancement must change human life in positive ways.

There are many reasons explaining why scientists make the prediction of [the rise of] autonomous vehicles in the near future. The principle reason is that machines have increasingly replaced manual [labor] in various fields from house chores to production in factories since the birth of robotics and [artificial intelligence]. Thus, driverless cars will provide innovators impetus for reform.{“reform” sounds more political than technological} Another reason is that the first of [prototypes] of self-driving car were invented in the UK by researchers from reputable universities such as Oxford University, Cambridge University and [the] British government granted them permission to test in public roads in this country. [These are just two of the many] reasons proving that the substitution of human-controlled [cars] for automated cars [is imminent].

As a result, [human beings] {“human being” is usually used when talking about biology or comparing humans to animals - so when I read this, the impression I get it that these cars will help humans, but not dogs or cats. This may be true, but is probably not what you mean to stress} will derive immense benefits from the development of automatous [vehicles]. First, automated cars would be able to curtail the number of car collisions caused by human errors and irresponsibility including exceeding the peed limit, becoming distracted, [or] driving in [an] intoxicated state. Thus, if [self-controlled] cars are available, roads will be safer for travellers, or even pedestrians as machines are able to make faster and more exact calculations than [a ]human does. Second, they will provide opportunities for more people to travel independently. In fact, they would no [longer] need a [driver’s] license {“driving license” does make more sense, but unfortunately, that is not what we call it } to drive self-driving cars, people will not [have to] take any rigorous test before becoming a certified driver. People who have mobility difficulties such as the elderly[ and] the disabled would be able to experience independence on travelling.

In conclusion, it is plausible for scientists to anticipate that autonomous cars would take over the human-driven cars in the foreseeable future. I suppose that they shall make positive changes to society.

[Luschen]

Hi, I didn’t think it was too bad. I do think it is a great idea to rewrite the essay from the opposite point of view. It is always great to be able to see both sides of an issue!

@thaodang119

It is true that technological breakthroughs achieved over the past decades [have] led scientists [to] forecast that computer-driven cars will substitute for conventional [cars] in the next few years. In my opinion, I believe that such replacement must have negative impacts to human life. {“to human life” sounds a bit odd in this context - like it could kill everyone or make everyone sick- “human” usually refers to biology - maybe “to individuals as well as society” or “negative impacts to our economy and well-being”}

There are many [pieces of evidence] {evidence is non-countable} explaining why scientists make the prediction of [the advent of] autonomous vehicles. First, the first invention of self-driving car was designed {“the invention was designed” is incorrect - “it was invented” or “it was designed”} by several British engineers, [who] used [a ]satellite system to transmit information and [an] automated navigation system to determine an accurate location. {I think it is more accurate to say “… transmit information including an accurate location, which is then used by an automated navigation system”} Although it has been in development, the dream of driverless car came true. {this sentence does not make sense - it would have to be “dream of a driverless car has not yet come true” or “Although it took many years of development, the dream of a driverless car has finally come true”} Second, due to the rapid development of technology, the British government finally [granted] automated cars permission for testing them in public roads in the [Commonwealth] {or what countries?} countries. It is therefore reasonable for scientists [to] anticipate that the age of self-driving vehicles is rapidly approaching.

As a result, [this] invention of autonomous vehicles would produce side effects to society. To begin with, the unemployment rate will be on the rise [which will] then cause social problems. Obviously, if cars, trucks, [and] taxis are able to drive themselves, people who [earn a] living by driving would suddenly become redundant, and it will be difficult for them to quickly find a new job. Social evils, consequently, must arise due to [higher] unemployment. Next, [the] safety of [the passengers of these autonomous cars, as well as pedestrians,] would not [be guaranteed, since there is a risk the cars’ control systems could be taken over] by hackers. {The hackers are definitely not the ones guaranteeing the safety - they are the ones who are generating the risk or danger} Since robotic vehicles would entirely be controlled [entirely] by hardware and software [of a] computer and attackers could find security holes in any sophisticated system to take over and control it purposefully. {“malevolently” is a more specific word here} {this is not a complete sentence - the “since” makes this whole clause a dependent clause}

In conclusion, there are many plausible reasons [leading] scientists [to] predict that human-controlled [vehicles] will be replaced by robotic ones in the near future. I trust that the replacement will have negative impacts on human life.