Nowadays, advertising is a very important part of mass media and business. Everyone watches television, which is constantly showing commercial advertisements, and the case of children isn’t any different. Some people think that it is not a problem that some advertisements are focused on young children, but it is clearly a problem. I think so for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First, advertising is more likely to affect children between the ages of 2 and 5 than older children. Advertising often shows unrealistic or exaggerated scenes that children try to imitate. For example, young children sometimes imitate the scene from toy commercials that depict gun or sword fights. In this case, the youngsters hurt themselves or others. In addition, when children see the advertisement of the flying hero, they try to jump from high buildings. It can lead to big trouble for the children’s safety.
Second, children are more likely to misjudge the goods advertised on TV. Because of the lack of consciousness, young people can’t judge whether the goods are good or bad. For example, when I was 4 years old, I saw advertisements for small computers for children. The goods weren’t of good quality, but I really wanted to get the computer and begged my parents. They told me that the item was of low quality, so it wouldn’t work well, but I can’t judge well. Finally, they gave up and bought me the computer, but it broke as soon as I turned it on.
In conclusion, I think that television advertising aimed at children between the ages of 2 and 5 should be banned. Because advertising can affect them much more negatively than older people, and young children often misjudge the quality or characteristics of the goods advertised on TV.
Here are some comments:
Overall, the essay provides a clear stance on the issue of advertising targeted at young children and supports it with two reasons. However, there are some areas where the essay could be improved.
Firstly, the introduction could be strengthened by providing a more engaging and attention-grabbing opening sentence. This would help to captivate the reader’s interest from the beginning.
In terms of content, the essay effectively argues that advertising can negatively impact children between the ages of 2 and 5. The first reason mentioned is that children often imitate unrealistic or exaggerated scenes from commercials, which can lead to harm. This point is well-explained and supported with examples of imitating violent behaviors or attempting dangerous stunts. However, it would be helpful to acknowledge that parental supervision and guidance play a crucial role in mitigating these risks.
The second reason focuses on children’s inability to judge the quality or characteristics of advertised goods. The personal anecdote shared by the writer adds a relatable element to the essay and reinforces the argument. It would be beneficial to provide additional evidence or examples to support this point and further emphasize the potential negative consequences of children’s misjudgment.
The essay concludes by restating the author’s opinion and briefly summarizing the main points. While the conclusion is concise, it could be strengthened by adding a sentence that emphasizes the importance of protecting young children from potentially harmful advertising.
In terms of language use, the essay is generally clear and coherent. However, there are a few instances where the phrasing could be improved for clarity or precision. For example, the sentence “It can lead to big trouble for the children’s safety” could be revised to “This can pose significant safety risks for children.”
Additionally, the essay could benefit from more varied sentence structure and vocabulary to enhance readability and demonstrate a stronger command of language.
To summarize, the essay effectively argues that advertising aimed at young children should be banned, highlighting the potential negative impacts on children’s behavior and their ability to judge advertised products. By strengthening the introduction, providing additional supporting evidence, and refining the language use, the essay could further improve its persuasiveness and clarity.