Please evaluate my toefl independent essay

Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
To improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

My essay:

Quality of education is a very important part of our society. When the quality of education in universities is improved we can expect more qualified graduated, so the country technology can be more developed. More salary for university professors leads to improve the quality of education. Some tend to agree with this sentence; others would fundamentally disagree. I entirely agree with this statement for two important reasons.

First, obviously more money for salaries can motivate professors. Motivated professors are more hard workers who spend more time on the quality of education. I distinctly remember an unforgettable experience. Last year I was employed as a teacher assistant by Tehran university. At first, they paid to me just 5 dollars per hour of teaching. That was not enough money for a well-educated person who teaches in a university. I thought that I have to pay attention to the quality of my class as I am paid. After three months, the university increases my salary to 10 dollars per hour. I was so happy and satisfied therefore carefully paid attention to my classes and tried to improve the quality of my teaching methods. That experience obviously shows how an increase in salaries could influence the quality of education.

Second, without a doubt, a high salary for professors could make a stimulus for well-educated individuals that wish to work as a professor in universities whereby highly qualified graduated persons would prefer to work in universities rather than be an employee in the industry. When a university has better professors, it results in a higher quality of education. In my country, professor salaries are usually less than engineers. Well-graduated students have no tendency to work as a professor. Graduated students who are poor-educated and have no chance to be employed by an industry usually will be a professor. Therefore, the end result of this phenomenon is a low quality of education in universities.

In sum, though some may disagree, I firmly believe that high salary for professors can improve the quality of education. Not only will motivate professors to increase the quality of their class but also make a stimulus to high-quality university graduates to be a professor. Governments should pay more attention to professor salaries if they want a high-quality education.

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