Please correct my essay... Thank you!:) "Dormitories or Apartments"

Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of living in an apartment in the community. Where would you prefer to live? Give reasons for your preference.

Nowadays students have a lot of options about the place they can live in. Some students prefer to live in university dormitories whereas others prefer to live in apartments. Personally, I believe that both options have advantages and it actually depends on each student’s personality .

To start with, living in dormitories has many advantages for students. First of all, the rooms are more affordable comparing with an apartment. For example, one of my friends moved in the United States few years ago. He looked for apartments but they were too costly for his budget. That’s why he decided to live in university dormitories. Moreover, by living in dormitories one has the opportunity to meet new students and to make new friends. For instance, the first week that my friend lived in campus, he said that he has met more than fifty people. It was amazing how one is able to make so many friends in such a short time. Furthermore, living in campus is worth because the university is usually very near. This means that students do not have to drive their cars or take the bus to go to the university. It is really important because it saves not only valuable time but money as well. As we know, one should pay a ticket to take the bus or gasoline to drive his car.

On the other hand, living in an apartment has several advantages as well. Most importantly, the rooms are bigger than in university dormitories. Furthermore, It is convenient because a student has more space and so he can invite many friends to watch a movie or to play boardgames. Moreover, it might not be affordable enough but one can share an apartment with a roommate. In this way, they can pay half the price each one. In some cases the money that one pays are less that a university dormitory. Finally, one can choose a neighborhood that he really likes. For example, when I moved in France to study, I didn’t like the neighborhood where the university was located in because it was far away from the center of the city. That’s why I shared an apartment with a roommate in a better neighborhood which was very close to the center of Paris and near to a mall. I really liked it because I could go walking in the center of the town and shopping without needing to get a bus or a train.

In final consideration, I think that living in an apartment is the best option because it is more convenient and you can choose the location where you want to live in. Although it seems to be costly, it is not if it is shared with another person. That’s why I would definitely choose to live in an apartment.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a history class

Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of living in an apartment in the community. Where would you prefer to live? Give reasons for your preference.

Nowadays students have a lot of options about the place they can live in. Some students prefer to live in university dormitories whereas others prefer to live in apartments. Personally, I believe that both options have advantages and it actually depends on each student’s personality .

To start with, living in dormitories has many advantages for students. First of all, the rooms are more affordable comparing with an apartment. For example, one of my friends moved TO the United States few years ago. He looked for apartments but they were too costly for his budget. That’s why he decided to live in university dormitorY. Moreover, by living in dormitories one has the opportunity to meet new students and to make new friends. For instance, the first week thERE my friend lived in campus, he said that he has met more than fifty people. It was amazing how one is able to make so many friends in such a short time. Furthermore, living in campus is worth because the university is usually very near. This means that students do not have to drive their cars or take the bus to go to the university. It is really important because it saves not only valuable time but money as well. As we know, one should pay a ticket to take the bus or gasoline to drive his car.

On the other hand, living in an apartment has several advantages as well. Most importantly, the rooms are bigger than in university dormitories. Furthermore, It is convenient because a student has more space and so he can invite many friends to watch a movie or to play boardgames. Moreover, it might not be affordable enough but one can share an apartment with a roommate. In this way, they can SPLIT half the RENT. In some cases the money that one pays IS less THAN that ONE PAYS FOR A ROOM aT A university dormitory. Finally, one can choose a neighborhood that he really likes. For example, when I moved in France to study, I didn’t like the neighborhood where the university was located in because it was far away from the center of the city. That’s why I shared an apartment with a roommate in a better neighborhood which was very close to the center of Paris and near to a mall. I really liked it because I could go walking in the center of the town and shopping without needing to get a bus or a train.

IN CONCLUSION, I think that living in an apartment is the best option because it is more convenient and you can choose the location where you want to live in. Although it seems to be costly, it is not if it is shared with another person. That’s why I would definitely choose to live in an apartment.

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Good Essay :)! 8/10

Thank you Katty! I appreciate your help! :slight_smile:

Hi,
I think worth should be changed to worthwhile.
How do you think?

Justin

I am not sure. Maybe none of them is appropriate. It might be better to say something like that " It is better to live on campus" or “Living on campus has more advantages”.
Worth has to do with the value of something and worthwhile with the value and the time.
I didn’t find any clear rule that distinguish while and worthwhile. But thanks Justin for noticing that. :slight_smile:

Hi, just a couple of suggestions from another learner:

This way, they can each pay half the rent.

This way, they can split the rent.

Furthermore, it is worth living on campus because the university is usually very near.

(I think they say ‘live on campus’ and ‘live in campus dormitories/housing’.)

Hello,
I need the previous TOEFL essay please,