Please correct and rate this IELTS essay, I will have a test day after tomorrow!!

The topic is"It becomes more popular to find out the history of one’s family. What are the reasons for people to do this and do you think it is a positive or negative development?"

Recently, the issue of whether ascertaining the history of one’s family is meaningful has been in the limelight. As far as I am concerned, there are several following factors contributing to this problem and I stand on the side of the view that it is a positive development.

There are two main reasons enable people to discover their roots. First and foremost, with the internet access, the world has become approachable to people and one can find out amount of the information about their ancestors in a short time. 10 years ago, people had to look up a large number of historical books in the library when the internet was underdeveloping. No one would like to spend the biggest part of their free time in vain to looking for information. Now surfing the internet which has all-round database to search for their history of family is more convenient than traditional means. In addition, according to a recent article published in Newsweek, there were baby boomers in the USA on about the middle of last century. Due to their more frequent relocation, they are destitute of acquaintance of their ancestors’ lifestyle. As a matter of fact, ancestor’s lifestyle is often seen as a badge of family identity, offspring have the responsibility to pass down and carry forward their brilliant and gorgeous culture.

Searching family history gives many benefits to people and society. To begin with, looking at the family tree, the elderly people could recall the past gorgeous years. At the same time, the younger generation will give more respect to the senior people. Apart from this, mixed-blood youngsters become more and more all over the world and their ancestors from different countries. When they learn about their family histories, these long histories give new opportunities to understand distinct cultures for them. To some extent, it can promote exchanges between different countries and make social progress.

To sum up, it is evident that finding out the history of family can stimulate the harmoniousness to the family, which has some optimistic meaning for the whole society.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the young man have grapes for lunch?

Hi Candy, I thought your essay was pretty good. For this topic, it would have been good to use the term “genealogy” once or twice, but that is probably not a word you are familiar with. Your introduction was a little weak, but your body paragraphs were better. You had a good structure and your points were well reasoned. You did have some odd phrases and word choices though, along with some minor errors in punctuation and sentence structure. Overall, I would rate this about a band 6, maybe 6.5. Good luck on your test, please let me know what you thought of it and how you did.

which word can describe a person of mixed blood?

I think “multi-ethnic” would be the best or in your sentence, “youngsters whose parents are from diverse backgrounds”. I guess this is such a sensitive issue because pretty much everybody in the US is “mixed-blood”, whatever that means, so calling attention to it or implying that your family is somehow more “pure” is seen as very rude.