Please correct and rate my Toefl essay, Luschen! Thank you very much!

Topic: Some people prefer to spend their free time outdoors. Other people prefer to spend their leisure time indoors. Would you prefer to be outside or would you prefer to be inside for your leisure activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

The modern world today forces us to work more and more; consequently, we have little free time to take part in our favorite activities. Many people hesitate about deciding the place they will spend their leisure time, indoors or outdoors. As for me, I like spending mine outdoors since I love the beauty of nature; I can get more experiences and I do not want to be a coach-potato.

To begin with, I am so excited to observe the beauty of nature. I love the high mountains that covered with snow and it does not appear indoors. I am eager to be in a small boat moving on a peaceful river, where I can see wonderful landscapes in the banks and spending my time indoors cannot show it for me. And finally, I love observing wildlife and being away from modern life which is full of terrible horn-blowing, smokes and the annoying voices of people; I do not think staying indoor is a good way to accomplish those things.

Secondly, I can enrich my knowledge when I am outside. Example, if I travel to a strange place I have never been before, I can make new friends and they will teach me about their culture, their religion and how they live there. Those questions like how Buddhists do enlightenment and refine their thoughts or how some national monorities can survive in very harsh places such as high mountains or in jungles always baffle me and I think going outside is the best way to get the answer. In addition, I am an English-leaner and I will not condone a chance to meet new English-speaking friends in remote regions far away from my home.

Last but not least, spending too much time indoors can turn me into a coach-potato. There much indoor activities such as watching television, playing computer games that can rip the curiosity of finding out the world in me. It makes me more and more inactive when I am in a comfortable yet boring small place. Staying indoors too much will also weaken my muscles and harm my eyes which are the worst for me that I can imagine.

To conclude, I prefer spending my free time outdoors because I can enhance my knowledge, feel and observe the beauty of nature and avoid being a coach-potato. It is so strange that somebody choose to stay at home instead of going out for the various and astonishing world outside.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Paleontology

Hi Helias, another excellent essay, but I don’t think it is one of your best. You seem to have a few more odd sounding phrases than usual here, some misspelled words and a few other errors. Still, your content is very good and your arguments are very convincing. Overall, I would rate this a 4.5 out of 5.