please correct and rate my toefl essay, it is a tough topic...

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The ability to adapt to a new environment is more important than excellent knowledge for a job.

When it comes to the issue of either the adaptation or the excellent knowledge for job is more important, I believe that the adaptation is the most essential determinant of success. There are three aspects required to be taken into consideration. Excellent knowledge and experience increase the efficiency of performance. Lack of the ability to adapt leads to the negative impact even with excellent knowledge. With well-adapted ability, people can easily commit to a satisfactory consequence.

The excellent knowledge for job definitely provides many advantages. I can apply the knowledge of my major in the mission I was given. It will spend less unnecessary time on trial and errors. For instance, if I major in medicine, I will be more able to tackle the task in the pharmacy. In addition, with sufficient experiences and knowledge, I can be more able to predict the potential risks and to avoid them. Third, I can utilize my plentiful knowledge and experiences to assist other colleagues, raising the productivity of the crew.

On the other hand, adaption seems to be an indispensable factor on work. Most of the jobs contain team works. A person who cannot adapt well to a new environment is absolutely going to be isolated from the whole organization since it is difficult for him to familiarize with the new work conditions, new coworkers, and the atmosphere of the company. The most significant point is that no one wants to collaborate with a seemingly outsider. Hence, while excellent knowledge ensures good performance, a person will not have fine achievement on work without adjustable property.

Furthermore, there are numerous advantages of being adaptable. An adjustable man can cooperate with other team members with ease as a result of people love to work with a new comer who is able to quickly adjust to a new place. Other colleagues will be willing to share the resources and necessary culture -such as the habit of supervisor-which plays an important role in this company. As long as a person has adaptation, the knowledge and experiences will be helpful supplement for his performance. For instance, David, a friend of mine, was sent to Africa as a general manager. He is used to arid and hot weather so he operates the subsidiary successfully and gets along with the senior workers peacefully.

To sum up, although some people might claim that the excellent knowledge for job is more important than the adaptation to a new environment, I believe that the advantages of adaptation surpass those of the excellent knowledge. It is imperative that we evaluate the three aspects mentioned above. You can accomplish your task well with the excellent knowledge but you cannot do so without adjustment of new condition. Were I to choose which property I prefer, I would strongly select the adaptation.

TOEFL listening lectures: Which is a characteristic of realistic landscape paintings?

Hi, I agree that this is a tough topic. You need a few synonyms for excellent knowledge, as this was very repetitive. The way you phrased the ability to adapt was also usually incorrect - you should use the synonym flexibility more - “show flexibility”,
“react flexibly”. For this type of essay, I don’t think it is a good idea using an entire paragraph discussing the alternative position - this is not a “compare and contrast” essay. You can mention it briefly, or you can talk about it more extensively, but show its faults to support your own view. Your vocabulary is not too bad, but you have a lot of odd sounding phrases and some sentences that were a bit unclear to me. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.