Please correct and rate my essay, thank you! :)

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people enjoy life more than older people do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

People nowadays takes more seriously on enjoying life than before. There are many ways to enjoy life. Young people have their ways of enjoy life, so do older people. Some prefer to travel, while others prefer to stay home and relax. I believe both young people and older people try to enjoy their life as many as they can.

To begin with, people in every age like to do things they want to do. It depends on what activities you think are to enjoy life. Most of young people think the best way to enjoy life is to travel. However, because of health condition, travel may be too difficult for some older people. Without doubts, young people’s physical are healthier than older people. When young people travel to a new place, they would have more energy to explore the place. For example, I went to Taipei with my grandmother last summer to visit my uncle. My grandmother was in her early eighty. Most of her body works very well. However, after walking and traveling in the city for three hours, she has no more energy and need to go home for rest. She prefers to stay at my uncle’s place and just chatting with relatives. Travel is a better way for young people to enjoy life rather than older people.

On the other hand, older people like to enjoy their life more relaxing and spontaneously. For example, my grandmother likes hanging out with friends in her neighborhoods instead of taking a long week trip to other city. Older people are more likely to stay at a quiet place for more peaceful life. My grandmother only likes to spend every day on chatting with old friends about their life when they were young. Perhaps it is because they have done so many exciting things before, they are not so compelling to travel or do exciting activities than before. Their life style changed to another way which is more relaxing.

To sum up, I think everyone has his or her one way to enjoy life. It doesn’t matter what age you are in. Some older people may enjoy life more than young people, some may not. The most important thing is to enjoy the life no matter you are young or old.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and a registration clerk during registration week

Hi Chrissy, I really enjoyed this one. I think you did a good job of suporting your viewpoint, although you could make it a bit more clear that you disagree with the statement in the prompt. Most of your writing sounded pretty natural, but you did have some mistakes here and there. Your vocabulary was a bit basic, but you have used almost all of your words correctly. Overall, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.