please check my first GRE essay dear Luschen

“College and university education should be free for all students, fully financed by the government”

In some countries, governments help colleges and universities in order to provide free education for all the students. Conversely, in some countries, governments consider the universities as sources of earning money by imposing heavy tuitions for the poor students. However, there is a moderate method in which a government provides free education only for special students. Developed countries like US prefer to apply this method. In my view this method has many advantages compared with two previous methods. But, who are that special students who merit to be financed by the government? I think two groups are involved in this specialty.

First, highly talented students. Universities can recognize these students by exploring their educational records, such as their high school grades or their performance in entrance exams. Tuition waivers could assign to the students who place in top 5 percent of these criterions. Another way for discerning highly talented students, is by exploring their grades in university. For example, the universities could assign one semester free education for the students who earn top 5 percent of averages in every semester. On the other hand, a bit more tuition can be assigned for the students with low averages. If so, a positive competition forms among the students, which surely results in better learning. Therefore, inasmuch as top students can be very effective and advantageous for the society in the future, the government should invest in them by offering them full tuition waivers.

Second, the government should support poor parts of the society by providing them special chances. Firstly, poor people should be accurately defined in order to avoid misunderstandings. Secondly, inasmuch as poor people have less opportunities in comparison with others, they should be subsidized during university if they qualify minimum educational requirements.

To sum up, it is better for the governments to adopt a moderate policy that doesn’t cause a detriment to the universities nor the students. Some especial students such as top students and the ones who come from poor parts of the society, should be supported financially by tuition waivers, while the governments could support others by giving them low-interest loans.

This forum seems to be desolated!?

Luschen is away. You mean ‘desolate’.

I think desolated is true too :slight_smile:
See Merriam-Webster’s dic:
des·o·late /ˈdɛsəˌleɪt/ verb
to make (someone) feel very sad and lonely for a long time - usually used as (be) desolated
• They were desolated [=(more commonly) devastated] by the death of their son.

  • desolated : adj
    • a desolated village

No, you mean ‘This forum seems to be desolate’.
To use ‘desolated’ you would have to say something like:
This forum has been desolated by Luschen’s absence.

ouch, I feel guilty now for going on vacation - I leave nothing but desolation in my path!

Hi Kelvan, I am not really that familiar with the GRE essay scoring guidelines. I do not know how the essay length affects your score, but it seems like your second body paragraph could be more developed. You also have some grammar and usage errors, though generally your writing is pretty clear. Based on these guidelines: … ring_guide I would think this would score somewhere around a 3 or 4.