Please check my essay. Thank you very much!

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable to have a job, and you work only three days a week with long hours rather than work five days a week with shorter hours.

With the development of the society, people always in a high pressure environment and have no time to relax and do some sporting. It is not a good phenomenon that people may have a weak body and kinds of diseases. So many people prefer to work five days a week with shorter hours, but in my opinion, I prefer to work only three days a week with long hours.

First of all, people are able to have more concentration on their work. According to a recent survey conducted by the sociology department of Qinghua University among 2000 people, 98% of respondents prefer to work only three days a week with long hours. Because they think work long hours they can solve the problems together rather than discuss the plans again and again, while at the same time they become more efficiency. Researchers believe work long hours not only can solve problems together but also people are able to have a reasonable arrangement.

Furthermore, people will have four days to relax and they have more free time that they can spend on anything they like. For example, my friend Mary like finish her work together then she has more time do some sporting. Because swimming is good for health, and it can help improve her speed, strength and flexibility. And also she can effectively lose weight and keep in a good shape. Before she swimming, she also gets sick, depression and hot temper, but now everything is getting much better, thus she is enthusiastic on swimming.

Admittedly, working five days a week with shorter hours is more easy to people, and people have not a lot of pressure, but it is occupy people more time. In contrast to work long hours, people have more free time that people can have a short trip to release their emotion, pressure and uneasiness or people can read some books to broaden their horizon.

TOEFL listening discussions: What is the main weakness of the student’s essay?