please check my essay. I will be appreciated you

[Bienvenue]

Awards and prizes are given for excellence in various fields. Do these
awards and prizes serve a useful purpose? Use specific reasons and
examples to support your opinion

Nowadays, there are diverse presents given for achievements in different fields. These various awards are given to people who deserve to for some reasons, including continousness in their studies, better studies, and priveleges. Therefore, these prizes are very prominent for beneficial aims.
First, giving awards to people encourages them to continue their next studies. Today, each successfull person is awarded by various organizations, including Governments, Civil Society Institutions, and so on, in order to maintain their achievements. Namely, these organizations contribute to them to improve themselves. To illustrate, all countries all over the world grant many specific awards to talented people who get a medal in the Olimpic Champoinship, or in science.
Furthermore, it is the best way to encourage them for progressive studies. These sources provided by diverse organizations can help skillfull people who are keen on developing new projects on different fields. Moreover, they have a wonderfull self- confident thanks to these prizes that are vital fort he future of them. For example, my best friend from college has a great skill on painting. While we were studying in college, he had a fund from an İtalian Organization uphelding painting activities. Now, he is studying in italy and coming up with excellent paintings thanks to these awards.
Finally, these prizes make people feel better in their life. They always make great projects or studies on diverse subjects and they also wait for something which makes them happy. Naturally, they always want an award which can be money or applause, if they carry out a great accomplishment. Besides , these prizes can create new energy or think of way for them to implement better studies. As an example, I was on the first rank in a cross contest arranged by Crossing Federation of Turkey, during studying at unversity. Afterwards, I was given a great awards due to my achievements. That made me really happy.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture by a professor of Fine Arts

[Luschen]

@Bienvenue

Awards and prizes are given for excellence in various fields. Do these
awards and prizes serve a useful purpose? Use specific reasons and
examples to support your opinion

Nowadays, there are diverse presents[honors} {presents is not a synonym for awards] given for achievements in different fields. These various awards are given to people who [are] deserv[ing] for some reasons, including continousness{“dedication” would be better and is actually a real word} in their studies, better studies, and priveleges. Therefore, these prizes are very prominent for beneficial aims. {these last two sentences sound very awkward try " These various awards are very valuable in promoting beneficial aims, such as encouraging the winners to continue their work, to allow them to take on more risky projects, and to give them well-deserved appreciation for their hard work"}
First, giving awards to people encourages them to continue their next studies. Today, each successfull{sp} person is awarded by various organizations, including Governments, Civil Society Institutions,{no caps} and so on, in order to maintain their achievements. Namely, these organizations contribute to them to improve themselves. To illustrate, all countries all over the world grant many specific awards to talented people who get a medal in the Olimpic Champoinship,[Olympic Games] or in science. {this paragraph is a little repetitive - build on your strong topic sentence and say how these awards encourage the winners to attack another problem or reach another goal.}
Furthermore, it is the best way to encourage them for progressive studies. These sources provided by diverse organizations can help skillfull people who are keen on developing new projects on different fields. Moreover, they have a wonderfull {sp} self- confiden[ce] thanks to these prizes that are vital for [their] future of them. For example, my best friend from college has a great skill on[in] painting. While we were studying in college, he had a fund[received funding] from an İtalian Organization uphelding[to enable his] painting activities. Now, he is studying in italy and coming up with excellent paintings thanks to these awards. {this subject is quite close to your first paragraph - I think the first paragraph to be to encourage the winner to continue working, while this paragraph could be to allow the winner to do risky or potential unproductive work}
Finally, these prizes make people feel better in their life. They always make great projects or studies on diverse subjects and they also wait for something which makes them happy. Naturally, they always want an award which can be money or applause, if they carry out a great accomplishment. Besides , these prizes can create new energy or think of way[ways of thinking] for them to implement better studies. As an example, I was on the first rank in a cross contest arranged by Crossing Federation of Turkey, during studying[my studies] at unversity. {what is crossing? cross country running or fencing?} Afterwards, I was given a great awards due to my achievements. That made me really happy.

{try to add a short conclusion}

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture by a professor of Fine Arts

[Bienvenue]

thank you again Luschen for your comments on my essays. your comments are very helpfull. I believe that I am goıng to write better essay in TOefl, thanks to you.

[Luschen]

By the way - it should be “Please check my essay. I will appreciate you.” or better, “I would appreciate your help.”