Over packed food

[Tara_03]

Dear Luschen,
Would you please correct me.I am writing for IELTS and I need 7score.
Br,
Tara

(*) Do you think consumer should avoid over packed products or it is the responsibility of producer to avoid extra packaging of products? Give your views or any relevant example.

In this day and age, there is an ongoing debate among people about over packed food. There are different attitudes toward this issue, whether extra packaging should be ignored by producer or consumer needs to take into highly consideration. In this essay I will try to look at this issue from two different viewpoints.

People who believe that consumer should avoid extra packaging , have two main reasons. The first point they make is the expenditure may burden them for extra cost of packaging items. There are many examples of products by luxuries wrapped that we use in our daily life. A further argument they put forward is wasting of raw material. Not only a large amount of materials are wasting in this process but also we produce huge garbage which needs to be recycled or dumped by the government.
On the other hand, this issue can be looked at from a different angle. It is generally accepted that in the competition world of trading, having an attractive package may help manufacturers to sell they products more easily. Another important point to take into consideration is that packaging food would prevent an item from microbes and other dust particles. Moreover, it helps them to increase durability, safety and freshness of products.

On balance, it seems to me that both groups of people have sound reasons for their belief. I, however, am of the opinion that extra packaging of products has a detrimental effect on our environment. it is also recommended that a government should increase the awareness among users, producers and sellers about the drawbacks of over packaging.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor mention New York Harbor?

[Luschen]

Hi Tara, I admit this prompt seemed a little confusing to me. “Give your views” to me means “give your opinion”. In that case, you would choose one side or the other and focus only on that. Instead you have written a “discuss both sides and give your opinion”,
which is for a different kind of prompt. In any case, you also missed the main focus of the prompt. The prompt is not asking whether you think over-packaging is happening,
or whether over-packaging is bad, it sounds like it assumes both of these are true.
The only question the prompt asks is if it is the responsibility of the consumer to avoid over-packaged products, or the responsibility of the producer to stop using so much packaging. So you have to stick to that question in your essay. But you really haven’t discussed that particular question much at all. Instead you have discussed the benefits and drawbacks of packaging. It is very important to make sure you only answer what the prompt is asking.

@Tara 03

Dear Luschen,
Would you please correct me.I am writing for IELTS and I need 7score.
Br,
Tara

(*) Do you think consumer should avoid over packed products or it is the responsibility of producer to avoid extra packaging of products? Give your views or any relevant example.

In this day and age, there is an ongoing debate among people about over packed food. {you have copied the prompt word for word, and in this case the prompt itself is not worded very well. They don’t mean putting too much food in one box, which is what over packing means. They mean over packaging - using too much packaging material: boxes and plastic wrap and inserts and so on} There are different attitudes toward this issue, whether extra packaging should be ignored {“ignored” is not correct here - I think you mean “eliminated” or “addressed”} by producer[s ] or [the] consumer needs to take [this] into highly consideration [when making purchasing decisions]. In this essay I will try to look at this issue from two different viewpoints.

People who believe that [the] consumer should avoid extra packaging ,{no comma here} have two main reasons. The first point they make is the expenditure may burden them for extra cost of packaging items.{this sentences is a little unclear - do you mean that goods with a lot of packaging will cost more?} There are many examples of products by luxuries wrapped [luxuriously] that we use in our daily life. {yes, but what about these products? What is your point here?} A further argument they put forward is wasting of raw material. Not only [is] a large amount of materials are wasting[wasted] in this process but also we produce huge [piles of] garbage which needs to be recycled or dumped by the government. {this is saying that overpackaging is bad, but the prompt is only asking whether it is the consumer’s or producer’s job to do something about this problem}
On the other hand, this issue can be looked at from a different angle. It is generally accepted that in the [competitive] world of trading, having an attractive package may help manufacturers to sell [their] products more easily. Another important point to take into consideration is that packaging food would prevent an item from [contacting] microbes and other [harmful substances found in] dust particles. {your original version made it sound like microbes were a type of dust particle} Moreover, it helps them to increase [the] durability, safety and freshness of products.

On balance, it seems to me that both groups of people have sound reasons for their belief. I, however, am of the opinion that extra packaging of products has a detrimental effect on our environment. [It] is also recommended that a government should increase the awareness among users, producers and sellers about the drawbacks of [over-packaging].

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor mention New York Harbor?