Thank you for your great jobs, Luschen ^^
Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful.
In our life, considering a person if he is a successful man is really difficult to do. Some people base their judging a person’s success on his income or his social status. A statement made by the majority of people suggests that only people who earn a number of money are successful people. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this statement because many people are successful without making a great deal of money and many people earn much money without being successful.
In the first place, many people are successful without earning a great deal of money. A scientist feels really successful and covers himself with glory after taking a significant amount of time to discover a mystery. A doctor has a feeling of great and fantastic success after curing the terminally ill or discovering a remedy to cure a type of cancer. These two people, despite not being paid too much money, are all successful because of materializing their dreams. For example, my uncle, who is 57 years old and is just a salesclerk, has really strived to educate his five children to become productive people such as devoted doctors and skilled engineers. Owing to this, most of his friends and my relatives consider him really successful.
In the second place, many people make a considerable amount of money without being still successful. We all know that drug traders usually earn a great deal of money. Nevertheless, they always feel worried about their life and business. All of their property will be lost once they are arrested by policemen. In addition to this type of people, some people who get rich at other people’s expense are really not considered successful. They will possibly have an unhappy life. In society, they do not have a high social status and much prestige and reputation because of being respected and revered by others. This will also mean that they are not regarded as successful people. Therefore, earning a great deal of money will always not be successful.
In summary, I do completely not hold with the statement that the people are considered as successful people only when they make a great deal of money. There are many successful people who do not have high income. Many people are still not successful despite earning a considerable amount of money. What is important is that we should think carefully and consider many aspects before deciding if a person is successful.
Hi, thank you for your kind words. I think this is an excellent essay. I really like your structure and the way you have organized your argument into the two main parts. Your introduction is ok, but seems a little wordy in some parts. Your writing is relatively error free, although you do have some awkward sounding phrases here and there. Overall, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.