Once upon a time … now that’s the traditional way that all fairy stories begin. That is stories that aren’t real and take place at a time that isn’t either very clear or very important. My fairy story is going to be a little different because I am going to use it to try to explain the different uses and the meanings of two verbs that frequently are misused by people learning English. The two words are in fact the verbs ‘say’ and ‘tell’ and words and expressions that are associated with them. Each time I use one of these words I shall write them in capital letters in order to show exactly when they are in use.
Back to my story. Once upon a time there lived a king and a queen who could never agree about anything. Anything she SAID, he didn’t accept and anything he SAID, she disputed (didn’t disagree with). He was called Andy and she was called Molly. You might well SAY that these are strange names for royalty but then you have to remember that this is a fairy story and as I am TELLING the story, you will have to believe what I SAY.
At breakfast one morning Andy announced that he was going to build a castle because he was sick and tired of what people were SAYING about his having no proper place to live in. He intended to TELL them where to get off - he was going to show his authority and stop them making these remarks. Molly TOLD Andy that she thought he was completely mad because he didn’t have anywhere near enough money. The builders he had in mind were very happy to do the work and SAID: SAY the word (TELL us when to start). Andy went ahead without Molly’s SAYSO (permission) and started having the castle built but within a few weeks he had run out of money and the work had to stop. Needless to SAY (it’s not necessary to say) at breakfast a few weeks later Molly SAID: I TOLD you so (that was exactly what I had told you before). But we have an old SAYING - where there’s a will, there’s a way, which means that if you really want something, you will find a way to get it. In this case Andy asked his rich uncle Lance for the money. Lance said he would let him have the money as long as the castle was named after him - Lance castle. The builders went ahead and completed the work in six weeks and Molly didn’t SAY a word.
The years passed and Andy and Molly were finding the castle a bit too big just for the two of them. What the local people were SAYING to each other was that they really ought to be thinking about having a child and funnily enough Andy and Molly were SAYING the same thing, which was unusual because as you know, they usually didn’t agree about anything. After a couple of years their first and only child, a daughter, was born. The problem of disagreement of course started again because Andy SAID one name and Molly SAID another. In the end the rich uncle had the final SAY and he SAID (with a touch of humour) it should be Harmony. So the little girl was christened Harmony. Now, there’s no TELLING (it’s impossible to guess) when a child starts to speak but in Harmony’s case, it looked as if she would never speak. She was bright and beautiful but silent and she didn’t SAY a word for the next 16 years. At that age it was really time for her to find a husband. As she was such a lovely girl, many young men wanted to marry her and of course there was an extra attraction in becoming married to a silent wife! In the end she chose a Prince called Rupert, with a nod of her head. It was SAID (people believed) that he didn’t SAY a lot. The next question was where they would live. One morning at the breakfast table before Harmony got married, Andy and Molly were arguing again. Harmony raised her hand and TOLD them to be quiet. They were immediately struck dumb with surprise. She continued: You may want to know why I have never SAID a word all these years. The reason is that I am very tired of your constant arguing. If Rupert and I are to live with you in the castle, I want you to TELL me now that you will never again disagree with one another. Andy and Molly nodded agreement. And so it was that Harmony and Rupert lived happily ever after in the same castle with Andy and Molly and never a cross word (an argument) was ever SAID between any of them.