Good evening.
Could you please tell me which one is better phrased?
Notifications by means of student’s school booklet. Parents will be notified of disciplinary actions by means of the school booklet.
Communications via student’s school booklet. A notice about disciplinary actions will be sent home via the school booklet and must be signed by a parent.
NB. In Italian schools, a “school booklet” is a small thin book", about 20 pages, similar in size to a passport. Every student has got one. It is divided into sections: (1) student’s absences (reason for the absence signed by a parent); (2) student’s grades; (3) notes to parents.
Thanks a lot.
WW
It really depends on where and how you want to use the phrase, but in general terms the second option seems more explanatory.
Hi Beeesneees.
The phrase is part of the behaviour plan I’m going to introduce to my middle-school students on the first day back from the summer holidays. Of course I have to draw up the rules beforehand. Then I introduce the plan at the beginning of the year, discuss it with the kids and ask for their input. I write the rules every year with them, but this year we are going to create rules, consequences and rewards in English (with my guidance), not in Italian.
What I posted is just a portion of rule N. 10:
Communications via student’s school booklet. A notice about disciplinary actions will be sent home via the school booklet and must be signed by a parent. The booklet must be returned when indicated. If you do not return it, you will immediately progress to the next disciplinary action.
I’d really appreciate any other suggestions.
WW
What age are your students? I know you say ‘middle school’ but that varies from country to country.
It seems very formal the way you’ve written it, but if the rest of the rules are written in such a formal style, then I suppose it won’t look out of place.
These are another three rules:
(3) Do not talk when I am teaching or talking. Likewise, you are not permitted to talk in the hallway. It may disturb other classrooms, no matter if the door is open or closed.
(4) Raise your hand when you have a question and wait to be addressed. Do not ask off-topic questions at inappropriate times. Likewise, raise your hand and ask for permission to move from your seat.
(9) Do not use inappropriate language, ever. Do not fight, push or throw objects.
Do not make mean or inappropriate comments to classmates or laugh if they do something wrong.
Do you think the rule I posted (n. 10) looks out of place? If so, could you please suggest something less formal?
Thanks again.
WW
When compared to those it looks rather out of place. It has been set out in a completely different way.
My suggestion would be to leave out the first part and slightly reword the beginning:
Any required disciplinary actions will be entered into the school booklet and must be signed by a parent. The booklet must be returned when indicated. If you do not return it, you will immediately progress to the next disciplinary action.
Your suggestion is excellent, Beeesneees. You must admit that for a non-native English speaker it is often very difficult to rightly choose the best way to write something.
I was wondering if I could keep the first part as it is (“Notifications by means of student’s school booklet”). It’s just a sort of introductory title to the rule.
You can do that, but I dropped it because you don’t appear to have an introductory title to any of the other rules. That is what made it appear so out of place.
Thanks so much for taking the time to respond to this thread, it was very helpful!
WW