my second essay" team sport vs. individual sports"

[Suzerain_p]

Some people prefer to play team sports, while other prefer to play individual sports. Discuss the advantages of each. Then indicate which you prefer and why?

Sport is an excellent way to improve our health and lift up our attitude no matter it is team sports or individual sports. I myself always enjoy group activities where I can feel being a part of something. That is why I love team sports.

The first benefit of team sport is you learn how to do a teamwork. You learns that it is not only you who can make a great achievement but how you can support other people to make the best team. You become more responsible for the result of the whole team. If you watch a football match, you expects all the players to cooperate with each others, do the good passes to each other, helping each other to score. And when you win, it is an enormous joy for all the members because all of them see their roles for the win.

Further more, if you plays a team sport, you learn how to discipline yourself at a high level. When your group practice, you need to practice with them. It is not you to decide where and when you want to play or practice. Your performance really effects on the whole team. So it is a very good way to improve our self-discipline

One of the best reason I love team sport is the sprit of a team and the encouragement between all members. I love to play tennis. Even though I can play on my own but It is always good to have a partner to play with me who motivate and inspire me to keep trying which I hardly do myself when I feel so lazy or so down.

However, I have friends who are great in individual sport. They love being on their own and decide where and when they can practice. They don’t have to wait for the whole team to make decision. They don’t have to wait for the whole team to vote for their plan or their strategy.They are the one who also decide the result. Their performance doesn’t affect much on other people. That is much more comfortable.

It is seems to me that individual sport has a higher competitive level. People who enjoy this kind of sport train themselves to fight on their own and they get credit for their own if they win. The feeling “I am the best” is always thrilling and desiring in each of human being.

It depend much on the personality and the condition that people choose either team sports or individuals sport. I myself love to have partners in all the activities. So team sport is always my choice.

TOEFL listening discussions: What will the student probably do with her next paper?

[Luschen]

Hi, I enjoyed your essay. Your structure and ideas are very good. Please review your verb conjugation: I play, you play, he/she plays, it plays, we play, they play.
I would rate this essay a 3.5 out of 5.

@Suzerain_p

Some people prefer to play team sports, while other prefer to play individual sports. Discuss the advantages of each. Then indicate which you prefer and why?

Sport[s are]{sports is almost always plural} an excellent way to improve our health and lift up our attitude no matter [whether] it is team sports or individual sports. I myself always enjoy group activities where I can feel being a part of something. That is why I love team sports.

The first benefit of team sport[s ] is you learn how to do a teamwork. You learns that it is not only you[rself] who can make a great achievement but how you can support other people to make the best team. You become more responsible for the result of the whole team. If you watch a football match, you expects all the players to cooperate with each others, do the[make] good passes to each other, helping each other to score. And when you win, it is an enormous joy for all the members because all of them see their roles for[in] the win.

Further more,{one word} if you plays a team sport, you learn how to discipline yourself at a high level. When your group practice[s ], you need to practice with them. It is not [for] you to decide where and when you want to play or practice. Your performance really [a]ffects on the whole team. So it is a very good way to improve [y]our self-discipline {you have talked about “you”, so stay in that voice}

One of the best reason[s ] I love team sport[s ] is the sprit{sp} of a team and the encouragement between all members. I love to play tennis. Even though I can play on my own but{use “even though” or “but”, not both} It is always good to have a partner to play with me who motivate[s ] and inspire[s ] me to keep trying which I hardly do myself when I feel so lazy or so down.

However, I have friends who are great in individual sport[s ]. They love being on their own and decid[ing] where and when they can practice. They don’t have to wait for the whole team to make [a] decision. They don’t have to wait for the whole team to vote for their plan or their strategy.They are the one who also decide[s ] the result. Their performance doesn’t affect much on other people.{“doesn’t have much effect on other people” or “doesn’t affect other people much”} That is much more comfortable.

It is seems to me that individual sport[s have] a higher competitive level. People who enjoy this kind of sport train themselves to fight on their own and they get credit for their own[themselves] if they win. The feeling [of] “I am the best” is always thrilling and desiring[“a desire” or “a yearning”] in each of human being.

It depend[s ] much on the personality and the condition{“condition” doesn’t sound right here} that[whether] people choose either team sports or individuals sport[s ]. I myself love to have partners in all the activities. So team sport is always my choice. {try to give more space to outline your preference and why you feel that way - this should be a major part of your essay}

TOEFL listening discussions: What will the student probably do with her next paper?