Hi Kitos,
Quite long time that I do not practise writing essay…so I thinks it is not quite good … please help me correct my eassy…thanks
I absolutely agree that money is the most important thing in life. In this millennium, money makes the world goes around because everything is based on money. Money makes people‘s quality of life is better. Thus, everyone do anything to get money, although it is incorrect.
Money is the most significant factors of a human way of life. Parents pay more attention to their children‘s bright future so they work hard in order that they could get much money to support their children‘s education fees. In addition, most of students select business courses rather than others for the sake of earning much money in the future. People look for the job that it makes big money .Someone who has a high education, and graduated from the prestigious university has their own business namely opening the shop. Because they believe that it makes much money rather than working in the company.
Furthermore, someone do anything to get much money even they may do an incorrect way. For instance, the politicians apply for a candidate so as to be a member in the parliament because they believe that they can find the benefit from the huge project.
Someone is a drug dealer because he thinks that he can get much money in the short time while he knows that it is an illegal, and will have a severe punishment.
Nevertheless, money makes the human’s life comfort and deprive of illness. If we have much money, we can do everything what we want. In addition, people would like to be healthy, and no illness. Some kind of diseases has to use much money for treatment such as the cancer.
All in all, nowadays, money is involved with everything of people’s life. We can not refuse that everything is not free. We have to use money for the exchange,and live in the society. Those are the reason why money is the most important thing in life.
TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a bookstore sales clerk and a student
I absolutely agree that money is the most important thing in life. In this millennium, money makes the world goes around because everything is based on money. Money makes people‘s quality of life is better. Thus, everyone WILL do anything to get money, although it is incorrect.
Money is the most significant factor of a human way of life. Parents pay more attention to their children‘s bright futureS so they work hard in order that they could CAN get /much/ A LOT OF/money to support their children‘s education fees. In addition, /most/MANY of students select business courses rather than others for the sake of earning /much/MORE/ money in the future. People look for A job that it makes big money. Someone who has a high education, and HAS graduated from A prestigious university has their own business(,) namely opening the A shop(,) because they believe that it makes much money rather than working in the A company.
Furthermore, someone doES SOMEthing to get much money even THOUGH they may do IT IN an incorrect way. For instance, the politicians apply for a candidate so as to be a member in the Parliament because they believe that they can find the benefit from the huge project.
Someone is a drug dealer because he thinks that he can get much money in the short time(,) EVEN THOUGH/ while/ he knows that it is an illegal ACT , and will /have/CARRY/ a severe punishment.
Nevertheless, money makes the human’s life comfort and deprive of illness. If we have much money, we can do everything what THAT we want. In addition, people would like to be healthy, and HAVE no illness. Some kindS of diseases NEED EXPENSIVE TREATMENT(,)has to use much money for treatment such as the cancer.
All in all, nowadays, money is involved with everything of people’s LIVES. We can not refuse MUST ACCEPT that everything is not free. We have to use money for the exchange, and live in the society. Those are the reasonS why money is the most important thing in life.
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Good morning Groffy. You certainly need to knuckle down and start writing more regularly. You are slipping.
Kitos. 7/10