Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers


#1

Please give me many comments and mark my Ielt writing exercise. Thanks a lot
Topic: Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, while multiple students enter universities for academic purposes, there are opinions that a certain number of graduates should embark on vocational training programs to create eligible human resources. While many people are adamant that encouraging academic pursuit is beneficial to some extent, I side with the view that vocational training courses should be promoted as the main priority of workforce development.

Practically, there are certain grounds supporting the scholastic pursuit at colleges and university. From a personal perspective, it is common knowledge that when equipped with intensive-knowledge courses at university, students can broaden basic and specialist knowledge which would help them become erudite experts. As a result, these people would take high-ranking management positions in companies or governmental organizations. In other words, a good education acts as a precursor to be a successful career. Another necessity of academic training is because this plays an indispensable role in building research and academia communities. A shortage in university graduates would eventually result in the lack of specialists and researchers, who assume the responsibility of leading innovations for national policies. For example, after pursuing higher education at Chicago University, Ngo Bao Chau has made many staggering achievements in Mathematics like the fundamental lemma for automorphic forms and considerable contributions to Vietnam educational programs.

On the other hand, given that workplace supply has become an increasingly widespread concern, it is justifiable that youngsters should be encouraged to enroll in vocational courses. Firstly, in lieu of spending valuable time on enhancing specialist knowledge, students can get hands-on experiences which leads to working - skill improvement. From a practical point of view, the pursuit of expertise in particular manual professions would bring individuals extensive job and career development opportunities which might be significantly limited in intellectual fields . Secondly, if young people are stimulated to do vocational training, governments will mitigate the problem of unemployment associated with workforce misbalance . Take Viet Nam as an example. Government has prioritized on opening more vocational centers for many years to train jobless people as qualified and skilled workers, which can be traced to a large number of graduated students being unemployed in 2018.

In conclusion, albeit I recognize the necessity of promoting college education for personal purposes and social needs, I firmly believe that priority should be given to vocational training, making it the core of workforce development.


#2

Hi Th_Bui, once again, your writing is not bad, but I don’t think you gave enough space to explaining exactly why you hold your personal opinion. I think your first body paragraph was more convincing, so I think you need to better explain why you find the argument for vocational school more compelling. I think you did leave out a really important aspect - that not every student is cut out for university and so getting a technical degree can help these less academic-focused students improve their career chances. Here are some other specific suggestions: