I wrote another essay for TOEFL. I am especially concerned about the word choice and topic development. Could you please provide me with feedback on my essay? I look forward to hearing from you.
Some people believe that the best way of learning about life is by listening to the advice of family and friends. Other people believe that the best way of learning about life is through personal experience. Compare the advantages of these two different ways of learning about life. Which do you think is preferable? Use specific examples to support your preference.
Life experience plays a paramount role in the decision-making processes and establishes a framework for one’s entire life. The practical knowledge can come from various sources: parents, distant relatives, friends and acquaintances. Among all the sources, I definitely prefer obtaining my own life experience rather than attend to someone’s advice.
On the one hand, experiential knowledge that one accumulates on her own seems to be unique and rich of vast amounts of possibilities. For example, traveling to the remote destinations, such as Sahara desert or Iceland, or being involved in the complex project for rescuing the endangered species of animals or ethnic minorities provide one with the enormous and complex body of knowledge and skills that otherwise seems almost impossible to acquire. Likewise, attending to other people’s life experience can teach you as well. One may simply learn not from her mistakes, but from mistakes of others, reducing the risk of fault and advancing further. Not listening to advice may draw a person back in the overall development. In fact, My parents and friends occasionally give me pieces of advice that seem reasonable and cogent, and I am grateful that I followed their advice at one point.
Listening to one’s parents or friends, a person can carefully and cautiously plan their activities for the future, significantly increasing her chances for success in life. This becomes possible because your immediate family as well as close friends always want you to be better off. This reasoning is even supported by the evolutionary psychologists who claim that people who are tightly related to each other want their community to thrive as much as they do. Besides, those people are more objective and detached than you are when it the stakes are high. Yet being guided by my own gut feeling I can get an idea what is genuinely my cup of tea, what I really want to do with my life. All my inclinations, predispositions, and tendencies can guide me to the life I fit the most. Besides, people, despite being close to you, can make mistakes and be biased.
Overall, it is true that life experience, whether it comes from your relatives and friends or from you personal life, is an invaluable and important aspect in order to collect knowledge about life. Yet to be independent and find a proper place for herself in the universe, she should consider to get her own experience in the first place.
TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation about toys