Knowledge gained from experiences is more important

In my essay, there are lots of mistakes and i can’t imagine things to persuade the readers. May you help me to correct the writing much better. Thank you very much.

Topic: It has been said, " Not everything that is learned is contained in books ". Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience wiht knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which sources is more important? Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In daily life, we receive many different situations when we go to work, to school and even to other places in your city. Therefore, we have lots of ways to solve it better. But is everything you do they are in your books or something else? Now, I will show you the answers.
First of all, everything in your book is not enough for you to handle every situation you meet in your life. The books you read just written by people who see things in front of their eyes and then write it in their books. When you read, you see him or her doing that and then copy doing it but they don’t know that
Secondly, experiences will help you to do your best in your life. While you do something, there will be mistakes come to you, but you know that it is your fault, you can solve it efficiently. Why? Because when you make it by yourself, you know the wrong things and how to fix it better
In conclusion, everything has their own goods. Don’t see the books is your best choice.Sometimes,experience help you to find out the way to everything in your life

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a professor and a departmental secretary

Hi, I did not see much “compare and contrast” here in your essay.
This essay prompt is different than the previous one. For this compare and contrast type of prompt, this is a good format you can follow:

  1. Introduction
  2. Advantages of book knowledge
    a. can learn from others’ experiences and insight
    b. better for learning scientific facts that you can’t really experience
    c. always there to consult again if you forget the information
  3. Advantages of knowledge from experience
    a. sticks in your brain better if you experience it
    b. not all knowledge, especially for personal decisions, is contained in books
    c. living a life of experiences rather than just reading books is more fun and fulfilling
  4. Your opinion
  5. Conclusion

With this format, you can often combine paragraph 4 and 5 and just have one combination Your opinion / conclusion paragraph.

Another format that sometimes works with compare and contrast essays is:

Category 1 - how does each side apply?
Category 2 - how does each side apply?
Category 3 - how does each side apply?
Your opinion/Conclusion

For instance, category 1 might be scientific knowledge - you could say how books might be better here since you can’t experience everything in science, although doing experiments yourself can sometimes help you to understand concepts better. Category 2 might be historical knowledge - you could say how we must rely on books primarily here, since there is no way to really experience life in the 1800’s for instance. Although for personal things, like one’s family history, books won’t really help, unless your family is famous! So we need to rely on spoken stories and facts passed down from our parents and grandparents about their experiences. Category 3 might be knowledge about how to live our lives - here we can read books on philosophy, or study holy books from our religion, but no book is going to tell us what is the career we should choose or the spouse we should marry; for these important decisions we need to rely on our experiential knowledge.

I think once you get a good framework like one of these options, it is a little easier to organize your thoughts and add reasons and examples for a well developed essay.

Usually the “your opinion” and “conclusion” can be combined into one paragraph.