Kindly rate this for IELTS band

Q10. You have seen an advertisement for a part time job welcoming visitors to your town.
Write to the recruiters. In your letter
* Explain why you want the job
* Describe why you would be a good person for the role
* Describe any relevant experience you may have

Dear Sir/Madam,
I’m hereby writing you to apply for a part time job involved in welcoming the visitors to Bangalore as advertised in Deccan Heralds on May 1st. I have recently graduated from Bangalore University with
Tourism as my major as I want to work in this field. In addition, my previous internship was with Karnataka Tourisms as tour guide, where I was engaged in activities like interacting with tourists and helping them understand the heritage of Bangalore.
I enjoy the part where I get to interact and describe important places while travelling around the city with people who take the tours and make them feel welcoming. While I was looking for an opportunity to hone my skills further, I saw your ad
and it seems interesting and I’m confident in carrying this job efficiently. So I was hoping if you would consider me for the said position.

Looking for your positive response.

Thanks & regards,

Hi Vinoth, another good letter, but a couple places where it could have sounded a little more polished or natural.