keep working....{t bgt5555b``````````}<--those words are from my kitty..^^...

[Hanyu214]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in the university.

For students, one question that always haunts on their mind is whether they should take a part-time job or not. Some aruge that such an experience would take most of their time so that they could not bent upon heartedly on studying, which is the root cause of the lower grade. However, for me, the advantages of taking part-time jobs take precendence over the disadvantages.

Even though it may exert crave challenges for students, i believe that taking part-time jobs can let students to acquire the ability to manage time effectively. To handle those works simutaneously, majority of students will make a plan, or a schedule which can help them clarify their thinkings and determine which is
the most important one. Once they are able to put wise time management into practive, they will no longer be tossed in every direction by the storm of life and business. Therefore, while others crumble and crack under the challenges they face, they can sail through them with flying colors due to efficient time management.

What’s more, it is a better way for students to expand their outlook. Contrast to students who just focus their insight on the academic fields, students who take a part-time job can encounter with various people from different backgrounds. Those different versions on the world and society can make students to think critically, and promote students’ psychological wealfare.

Admittedly,for students, the most important part should be the academic settings. However, students cannot gain every lesson from the class. As an example, I was used to be an assistant working in an art studio. The most important task for me at here is to communicate with clients to find out their unique requirment, and find an appropriate approach to reach the goal. This requires a sophisticaed communication skill and also a mastery of previous experience we had, which are obviously something that I cannot gain from the class.

Considering all the reasons mentioned above, it is fair to state that taking part-time jobs provide students not only material benefits, but also the spirtual profits. Once they acquire the ability to handle the time as well a sophisticated outlook, they would not be setted off by any problem on the road toward fortune and fame.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a social sciences class

[Luschen]

Hi Hanyu, I thought you did a good job on this - or should I congratulate your cat? You have some good ideas and they are presented very effectively. Some of your writing sounds very natural and sophisticated, but other parts have some odd word choices. You also have a lot of sentence structure problems with your prepositions. Overall, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.

@Hanyu214

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in the university.

For students, one question that always haunts on their mind[s ] is whether they should take a part-time job or not. Some aruge{spelling} that such an experience would take most of their time so that they could not [remain] bent upon [wholehearted study] {this still sounds a bit odd} heartedly on studying, which is the root cause of the lower grade[s ].{this makes it sound like the root cause of lower grades is diligent study} However, for me, the advantages of taking part-time jobs take precendence over the disadvantages.

Even though it may exert crave[grave]{“grave” seems too serious here - like life or death} challenges for students, [ I] believe that taking part-time jobs can let students to acquire the ability to manage time effectively. To handle [both work and school] those works simutaneously, [the] majority of students will make a plan, or a schedule which can help them clarify their thinkings[thoughts] and determine which is
the most important one.{determine what is their most important thought?} Once they are able to put wise time management into practive, they will no longer be tossed in every direction by the storm of life and business. Therefore, while others crumble and crack under the challenges they face, they can sail through them with flying colors due to efficient time management. {maybe a little too flowery, but pretty good}

What’s {avoid contractions in TOEFL essays} more, it[part-time work] {at least in the topic sentence, try to refer directly to the prompt} is a better way for students to expand their outlook. [In[ Contrast to students who just focus their insight on the academic fields, students who take a part-time job can encounter with various people from different backgrounds. Those different versions [of viewpoints of] on the world and society {“different versions” of the world sounds odd} can make students to think critically, and promote students’ psychological wealfare. {sp}

Admittedly,for students, the most important part [of life] should be the academic settings. However, students cannot gain every lesson from the class. As an example, I was used to be an assistant working in an art studio. The most important task for me at here is [there was] to communicate with clients to find out their unique requirment,{sp} and find an appropriate approach to reach the goal. This require[d ] a sophisticaed communication skill and also a mastery of previous experience we had, which [we]re obviously something that I cannot[could not] gain from the class.

Considering all the reasons mentioned above, it is fair to state that taking part-time jobs provide[s ] students not only material benefits, but also the spirtual profits. Once they acquire the ability to handle the[ir] time as well a[s gain a] sophisticated outlook, they would not be setted off [cut off] {maybe “detoured” is better} by any problem on the road toward fortune and fame.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a social sciences class

[Cathyxu]

Some of your sentences are beautiful, such as “they will not be tossed by the storm of life and business”,or"sail through them with flying colors". Carry on!