Just for your information, I’ve changed my profile picture. Don’t get scared, but I took the previous one five years ago when I was 48. Now, come 25 May, I’ll be 53. Don’t say happy birthday yet, because I haven’t counted all the wrinkles. Do say @NearlyNapping, do you think I need a few plastic surgical touch-ups or is it better, like Joan Collins once said ‘to grow old gracefully while fighting all the way’? I think the latter is the best.
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OK, I won’t say happy birthday.
I lied. Happy Birthday. If you are not ready for it, stash it away for a rainy day.
Well, I have quite a few years on you. Nobody likes getting older. But all of life is a test. By the time you hit 50 or 60, you’ve passed the test and know you’ve got what it takes to carry on and deal with the shit life throws at you. You need a certain amount of toughness to make it that far. So you’ve passed the test, Marc.
I tend to agree with Joan Collins, at least the grow old gracefully part - not so sure about the fighting it all the way part. I mean, do we have a choice in getting old?
My life was not easy. I’ve had a couple of pretty bad periods, including several years when I was around your age. Saying those periods were pretty bad is an understatement, but I won’t go into details.
I’ll just say that somehow I manged to look very young for my age up until my early 50s. At 50, people told me I looked like I was late 20s or early 30s.
Then some medical things hit me - nothing life threatening, but I was not able to work or even go anywhere for more than an hour or so. It really took a toll mentally and physically, including aging me. Suddenly I looked my age. But to be honest, my looks were the least of my worries.
Anyway, I have never considered plastic surgery myself. Although I have not too seriously considered getting rid of some of the white hair.
I think growing old gracefully is about making the best of your life. I think it’s about not even thinking too much about your age. I think it’s about not thinking too much about the things you used to like doing, but no longer can.
It’s about thinking of the things we CAN do. Most of us slow down as we age. I no longer have the desire to be as active as I once was. But surprisingly I have become far more active in the last couple of years than I was in the couple of decades prior to that.
And guess what? I’m actually enjoying it. I still feel run down. I’m definitely not what I used to be physically. But I’m OK with that.
Growing old gracefully is about acceptance more than anything else. It’s about not hating the process. Not liking it is fine. Just don’t hate it. Accept it. Even if you are not happy, at least try to be content - which is much the same as acceptance and being OK with who you are.
I think you look fine. If I remember your last picture, you really haven’t aged much since then, if at all. Maybe you are being too hard on yourself.
Back to acceptance - you know how sometimes you see older people, some of them still have that spark, that twinkle in their eyes, well into their 80s and even 90s. With others, you can see how life has drained them. They no longer have that spark.
I’ve noticed that the ones with the spark are the ones who accept life and take things as they come. That doesn’t mean they like it, it just means they accept it. They don’t let it drag them down. That’s what keeps you young and vibrant. Maybe not young like you used to be, but you know what I mean.
It might sound like I’m saying to not get surgery. I’m not saying that. I’m addressing the larger topic of aging. Surgery is up to you. I think anything that makes you feel better about yourself will have a positive affect on your appearance. If this will make you feel better about yourself, I’d say go for it.
It’s slightly off-topic, but this reminds me of a T-Shirt my neighbor wears sometimes. He is around 75 or so. He’s still active. He socializes, goes to bars and parties, golfs, drives a sporty car and has a good outlook on life. His T-Shirt reads,
Immature, noun
What boring people call older people who still have fun.
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Hi Dan,
I’ve read your post very carefully. I always want to look good when I’m out and about. In that respect, I’m a bit like my mother, you see, everytime she went anywhere she first put on make up, did her hair in a bun and all that… And it took her about five or ten minutes before she was off. Ofcourse, it did last longer when she had to go to official occasions. My father did well too, you know. So, I was brought up that way. Yet, I can really enjoy walking around all morning in my ancient bathrobe when I don’t have to be somewhere. I feel most comfortable like that at home. Ofcourse, I wouldn’t feel good that way, when I’m out.
However, thank you for your wise words. I think I’d like your neighbour a lot.
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