It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize

[Qhuong90]

Please correct my essay. Thanks.

It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject.

There is an old saying go like this: “ It is not important how wide subjects you receive, you must take the depth of a certain subject into consideration.” However, in my opinion, it is better to have broad knowledge because life is always full of surprises which require not only one skill but also a variety of knowledge to encounter. Moreover, the wider knowledge we obtain, the more opportunities we gain and the more confident we are.

First, it is easier to overcome problems in life when having an extensive knowledge in many issues. A person who have broad knowledge can consider the problem in several aspects and innovate the best solution. For example, my father is accountant, he also got other credits on business, medical, another two languages. So when I have trouble in my work, I usually ask him for suggestion because of his experience enlarging my viewpoint. Being aware of the importance of general knowledge, I try to study more everyday to improve myself.

Second, more knowledge on different fields also earn us numerous opportunities and options. As there is an increasingly fierce social competition, individuals who want to get an ideal job have to possess as many skills as possible to stand out of the crowd. For example, my brother studied a lot of subjects in his university, he spent abundant amount of time studying in differient areas. As a result of his fortitude and endurability, after graduation, many famous companies accept his application and assign him projects with high salary. There is no doubt that wider knowledge we get, wider range of options we have.

Last but not least, people with various knowledge always feel confident because the knowledge is powerful. By having knowledge in many fields, they have opportunities to talk and get acquainted with new friends. Also, with well equipped knowledge, people can manage every single situation happening in their daily life, therefore they feel independent and content with themselves.

To sum up, I believe that having knowledge in many fields help us to become an eligible citizen. We have enough power and confidence to solve many problem and lead an independent and colorful life.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the student visit the professor?

[Luschen]

Hi Qhuong, I enjoyed reading your essay. You make some good points and have addressed the topic well. Your first two body paragraphs have some good examples, but your third one is lacking them. Maybe you were running out of time? Your writing is clear, but you do have a lot of small errors in grammar and usage, especially preposition choice, that make some of your essay sound unnatural to me. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.

@Qhuong90

Please correct my essay. Thanks.

It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject.

There is an old saying [that] go[es] like this: “ It is not important how wide [are the] subjects you receive, you must take the depth of a certain subject into consideration.” {this sounds a bit odd in English - we don’t usually “receive a subject”} However, in my opinion, it is better to have broad knowledge because life is always full of surprises[,] which require not only one skill but also {better to say “require not just one skill, but a variety …” the “not only but also” means both are needed, not either or} a variety of knowledge to encounter. {this sounds odd - we don’t really “encounter knowledge”} Moreover, the wider knowledge we obtain, the more opportunities we gain and the more confident we are.

First, it is easier to overcome problems in life when{“by” sounds better here} having an extensive knowledge in{“of” is better} many issues. A person who ha[s ] broad knowledge can consider the problem in several aspects and innovate the best solution. For example, my father is [an] accountant, he also got other [college] credits [ i]n business, medic[ine], another two languages. {“and two foreign languages” seems better - your version would be used in “credits in English and another two languages”}So when I have trouble in my work, I usually ask him for suggestion[s ] because of his experience enlarg[es ] my viewpoint. Being aware of the importance of general knowledge [in my father’s life],{try to tie the example back to the thesis} I try to study more everyday{two words here - “everyday” is an adjective} to improve myself.

Second, more knowledge on{“of” or “in”} different fields also earn[s ] us numerous opportunities and options. As there is an increasingly fierce social competition, individuals who want to get an ideal job have to possess as many skills as possible to stand out of[from] the crowd. For example, my brother studied a lot of subjects in his university[;] he spent [an] abundant amount of time studying in differient areas. {this seems repetitive} As a result of his fortitude and endura[nce], after graduation, many famous companies accept[ed] his application and assign[ed] him projects with high salary.{this is odd - it sounds like many companies are paying him a salary, which I doubt. Plus, you get paid a salary for a job, not for a project. Though if he is an independent contractor, he might get a fee for a project} There is no doubt that [the]wider knowledge we get, [the] wider range of options we have.

Last but not least, people with various knowledge{knowledge is non-countable singular, so various does not work with it - maybe “a wide range of knowledge”} always feel confident because the knowledge is powerful. By having knowledge in many fields, they have opportunities to talk and get acquainted with new friends. Also, with well equipped knowledge, people can manage every single situation happening in their daily life, therefore they feel independent and content with themselves. {this is good, but you really need some specific examples here to support your points}

To sum up, I believe that having knowledge in many fields help[s ] us to become an eligible citizen.{plural/singular mismatch} We have enough power and confidence to solve many problem[s ] and lead an independent and colorful life.{“colorful” is a bit of an odd term to use here. Often it is a euphemism for getting into trouble a little too often}

TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the student visit the professor?