I think that I have specified my point more clearly. Can you grade my essay please, mr. kitos
The world of industrialization and modernization requires great spaces to develop but the natural habitat is also a component endurance of human’s existence. For this reason, in my country, the need for land left in its natural condition equals to the land to be developed for housing and industry.
Firstly, as the rapid boom of population nowadays, the demand of having house and condition to enhance economic is raising dramatically. In my country, the population is so dense that a small house must contain seven to eight people from various generation. As the result, various problems about sanitary have been dropping the standard living of our and bringing about myriad diseases. Obviously, needing land for housing is our exigency.
Secondly, we can deny the fact that nature balances ecology. But the detriment of dense population that leads to various sanitary as I discuss in the previous point has been constricting the process of balancing environment of nature by destroying plant to satisfy the need of house. Moreover, the advent of industry pollutes our fresh air by releasing poisonous gas. So to solve this problem, we need lands to build trees such as park,…
In conclusion, as I discuss above, the need land to balance nature and the need land for housing is impartially a big
problem for our country.
I think that I have specified my point more clearly. Can you grade my essay please, mr. kitos
The world of industrialization and modernization requires great spaces to develop, but the natural habitat is also a component endurance of humans existence. For this reason, in my country, the need for land to be left in its natural condition equals the amount of land to be developed for housing and industry.
Firstly, due to the rapid boom of population nowadays, the demand for houses and conditions to enhance the economic situation is rising dramatically. In my country, the population is so dense that a small house must contain seven to eight people from various generations. As the result, various problems about sanitary conditions have been dropping the standards of living in our lives, and bringing about a myriad of diseases. Obviously, land for housing is our greatest need.
Secondly, we cannot deny the fact that nature balances ecology. But the destruction of plant life to satisfy the insatiable need for housing, is closing our eyes to the offences against nature that we commit. Moreover, the advent of industry pollutes our fresh air by releasing poisonous gases. So to solve this problem, we need more land, such as parks, in which to plant more trees.
In conclusion, as I discussed above, the need for land to balance nature, and the land required for housing is a big problem for our country.
…
An improvement Kaka. You are getting there!
The world of industrialization and modernization needs large areas of land to develop, but natural habitat is also a component that ensures human existence. For this reason, in my country, the need for land left in its natural state is equal to the land to be developed for housing and industry.
First, with the rapid growth of population nowadays, the need for housing and conditions conducive to business increases dramatically. In my country, the population density is so high that seven to eight people from different generations have to live in a small house. As a result, there are various sanitation problems that lower the standard of living and cause countless diseases. It is obvious that we need land for housing construction.
Secondly, we cannot deny the fact that nature creates an ecological balance. But the encroachment of dense population, which leads to various sanitary problems as I discussed in the previous point, has affected the process of nature’s ecological balance by destroying plants to satisfy the need for housing. In addition, the emerging industry is polluting our fresh air by releasing toxic gases. To solve this problem, we need land to plant trees, such as a park…
In conclusion, the need for land to balance nature and the need for land to build housing is a big problem for our country.
Problem for our country.