Is it more important to be an individual or to be part of a group?

Hi, I’m practicing for my exam and I would like to know how my writings are going.

There are rules for everything in this world but what if them are keeping us from more great things. However i am not saying we should just do whatever we want, because that, would be a disaster. lots of things were discovered because of people considered different, that were not part of the group. Clearly, being individual from time to time has not been a bad thing.

Without a doubt, woman are the biggest example of this. Back in time they were just thought to stay in the home, to clean and have children, nothing else. The first women to think different were treat horribly and lots of them were killed because of them is that I can be here doing an exam to enter to college because that was unimaginable in that moments. That is why every one of them that stood up and went apart from their group are very important to me.

Previously, we will not custionate anything. Before Socrates, eveything was like that for a reason except we did not know exactly that reason. It was not good for the people to wonder the things, they were like that because of God. However, Socrates was an individual at that time, he started asking about everything and even making other people wondering too and what had happened to him, he ended up dead, because he was different. But where will we be without people like him?

Equally important would be the all the people who fight for their rights. Earlier each of us who was different has been killed, tortured, slaved and more; maybe for having another skin colour, for being from another country, for being a woman because they did not consider them as part of their group and that is just incredible horrible because in spite is an embarassing thing we have this problem even now. instead of being all the time judging the differences between us we should be wondering is that is keeping us from better things, because that is what I believe.

Despite the fact that undoubtedly without this people we would be completely different, some people will argue that many of them did not do good things and that is true, Nevertheless without risking nothing could have been done.

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Hi and welcome to our forum. Can you please tell us what exam you are preparing for and why? As for your writing, I suggest you use shorter sentences and try to stick to phrases that already exist instead of inventing your own. For example, the following of your sentence doens’t make anything I’m afraid:

Also, try to become a team player rather than seeing only yourself. How about you read other people’s essays as well as the comments and feedback they have received? Here is a good example:

I mean, you are writing about being part of a group. How about you trying to become par of our group?

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You should write “I” instead of i. It is a rule.

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I’m preparing for the LOEP exam and found this group and I though it will be useful to practice and see my mistakes and yes I will see another essays

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True, I forgot about that one

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