Please rate my essay for TOEFL.
Reading passage:
In the United States, employees typically work five days a week for eight hours each day. However, many employees want to work a four-day week and are willing to accept less pay in order to do so. A mandatory policy requiring companies to offer their employees the option of working a four-day work week for four-fifths (80 percent)of their normal pay would benefit the economy as a whole as well as the individual companies and the employees who decided to take the option. The shortened workweek would increase company profits because employees would feel more rested and alert, and as a result, they would make fewer costly errors in their work. Hiring more staff to ensure that the same amount of work would be accomplished would not result in additional payroll costs because four-day employees would only be paid 80 percent of the normal rate. In the end, companies would have fewer overworked and error-prone employees for the same money, which would increase company profits. For the country as a whole, one of the primary benefits of offering this option to employees is that it would reduce unemployment rates. If many full-time employees started working fewer hours, some of their workload would have to be shifted to others. Thus, for every four employees who went on an 80 percent week, a new employee could be hired at the 80 percent rate. Finally, the option of a four-day workweek would be better for individual employees. Employees who could afford a lower salary in exchange for more free time could improve the quality of their lives by spending the extra time with their families, pursuing private interests, or enjoying leisure activities.
My response:
The reading and the lecture discuss the advantages and disadvantages of hiring employees who wants to work a four-day week. The reading states that hiring four day employees would increase a company’s profits, improve economy of a country and make employees’ lives better. However, the lecturer casts doubt on each of these points made in the reading passage by providing several reasons.
To begin with, the reading passage mentions that by hiring a four day work employee, a company would only pay 80 percent of the normal pay. This would save a company a lot of money, and from this money, it can hire more workers. As a company would have more workers, it would increase its profit. However, the lecturer points out that if a company hired new employees with 80 percent of their normal pay rate, it would also pay for their medical insurance and work trainings. Furthermore, a company would need more office space and computers for them. All of these would increase the over all expenditure of a company. This seems to be a contradiction to the information pointed out in the reading passage.
In addition, the reading passage explains that hiring more employees who wants to work four days a week would reduce unemployment rate of a country. However, the lecturer asserts that hiring more employees is costly, and a compony can use other options rather than hiring the new one. It can ask other employees to work overtime. Thus, it would not improve an economy of a country. This challenges the assertion stated in the reading passage.
Last but not least, the reading passage states that working four days a week can make employee’s lives as they get more free time. However, the lecturer claims that this way would actually make employees’ lives unpleasant. A company can ask theses employees to finish their work in four days instead of five. This would increases their stress and responsibility. Moreover, more free time would create a job instability for these employees. Besides, a company would pass over the promotion to a five-day employee, and would consider the four day employees first to fire from job in time of recession. This disputes the point asserted in the reading passage.
Thank you
TOEFL listening discussions: Why is the student talking to the advisor?