Integrated essay: Professors. please, review my essay

READING

Professors are normally found in university classrooms, offices, and libraries doing research
and lecturing to their students. More and more, however, they also appear as guests on
television news programs, giving expert commentary on the latest events in the world. These
television appearances are of great benefit to the professors themselves as well as to their
universities and the general public.
Professors benefit from appearing on television because by doing so acquire reputations as
authorities in their academic fields among a much wider audience than they have on
campus. If a professor publishes views in an academic journal, only other scholars will learn
about and appreciate those views. But when a professor appears on TV, thousands of
people outside the narrow academic community become aware of the professor’s ideas. So
when professors share their ideas with a television audience, the professors’ importance as
scholars is enhanced.
Universities also benefit from such appearances. The universities receive positive publicity
when their professors appear on TV. When people see a knowledgeable faculty member of a
university on television, they think more highly of that university. That then leads to an
improved reputation for the university. And that improved reputation in turn leads to more
donations for the university and more applications from potential students.
Finally, the public gains from professors’ appearing on television. Most television viewers
normally have no contact with university professors. When professors appear on television,
viewers have a chance to learn from experts and to be exposed to views they might
otherwise never hear about. Television is generally a medium for commentary that tends to
be superficial, not deep or thoughtful. From professors on television, by contrast, viewers get
a taste of real expertise and insight.

LISTENING SCRIPT
Lately, we’ve been seeing some professors on television. Though it’s sometimes claimed to be a good thing, we should question whether anybody really benefits from it. First of all, it’s not good for the professors themselves—not from a professional standpoint. Rightly or wrongly, a professor who appears on TV tends to get the reputation among fellow professors of being someone who is not a serious scholar— someone who chooses to entertain rather than to educate. And for that reason, TV professors may not be invited to important conferences—important meetings to discuss their academic work. They may even have difficulty getting money to do research. So for professors, being a TV celebrity has important disadvantages. A second point is that being on TV can take a lot of a professor’s time—not just the time on TV but also time figuring out what to present and time spent rehearsing, travel time, even time getting made up to look good for the cameras. And all this time comes out of the time the professor can spend doing research, meeting with students, and attending to university business. So you can certainly see there are problems for the university and its students when professors are in the TV studio and not on campus. So who does benefit? The public? That’s not so clear either. Look, professors do have a lot of knowledge to offer, but TV networks don’t want really serious in-depth academic lectures for after-dinner viewing. What the networks want is the academic title, not the intellectual substance. The material that professors usually present on TV—such as background on current events, or some brief historical introduction to a new movie version of a great literary work—this material is not much different from what viewers would get from a TV reporter who had done a little homework.
My essay:
The lecturer and the author discuss very serious point about professors’ life, which is appearing on televisions. The author support that appearing on televisions has good effect to professors’ life, the university, and the public itself. On the other hand, the lecturer opposites his claim totally.
First, the author thinks that if a professor appears on T.V that will give him big reputation, which could be a big break for him to be popular out of his field. However, the lecturer does not believe on this idea at all. He suggests that appearing on T.V is not good, professionally, for any professors. Because his fellowers will be not that serious. In addition, he states that professors who appears on T.V waste their money, hence they could find a big difficulty to get paid from the T.Vs’ channels.
Second, the author assumes that appearing on televisions could be great to the universities to get popularity among potential students, while the lecturer says that could affect the universities’ students and the universities a lot. He mentions that when the professors are preparing for showing up on programs, they waste time in traveling, preparing what they are going to say, and trying to look great on the camera.
Third, the author suggests that, the public could benefit from hearing professors’ knowledge, but the lecturer criticizes this point. He suggests that no T.V’s channels want to show very deep material, because that make people get boring, so they only show the outlines and some general things. Consequently, the society-benefits’ idea is not a real one.

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Usually professors are found in university auditoria,…

…by doing so they acquire reputations…

And welcome to out forum!

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I’m not happy with the phrase ‘they acquire reputations’. Using the plural of ‘reputation’ sounds odd.

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What would say of ‘they acquire the reputation of…’

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I would rewrite the entire sentence.

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Give it a try, because I have to leave. See you later.

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Appearing on television enables professors to reach a far wider audience.

I would leave out …than they have on campus… because it’s already clear that they are usually found in university auditoria and when speaking about professors we already know that they are authorities on their academic fields. It’s so much simpler.

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Makes me wonder though, Torsten. None of the professors I had ever appeared on television. So, has it become fashionable for academic personnel to make television appearances?

Hi Wafaa_Tbeshat,

I’m sure you’ve tried your best, but I think you should rewrite your text entirely. Don’t blame me for saying so, but you repeat the same words so many times…Your text is dull. I’m sorry, but that’s what I think about it.

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Hi, I want to thank you first for reviewing my essay , but I get lost actually!
well, this is my essay that I have written :
My essay:
The lecturer and the author discuss very serious point about professors’ life, which is appearing on televisions. The author support that appearing on televisions has good effect to professors’ life, the university, and the public itself. On the other hand, the lecturer opposites his claim totally.
First, the author thinks that if a professor appears on T.V that will give him big reputation, which could be a big break for him to be popular out of his field. However, the lecturer does not believe on this idea at all. He suggests that appearing on T.V is not good, professionally, for any professors. Because his fellowers will be not that serious. In addition, he states that professors who appears on T.V waste their money, hence they could find a big difficulty to get paid from the T.Vs’ channels.
Second, the author assumes that appearing on televisions could be great to the universities to get popularity among potential students, while the lecturer says that could affect the universities’ students and the universities a lot. He mentions that when the professors are preparing for showing up on programs, they waste time in traveling, preparing what they are going to say, and trying to look great on the camera.
Third, the author suggests that, the public could benefit from hearing professors’ knowledge, but the lecturer criticizes this point. He suggests that no T.V’s channels want to show very deep material, because that make people get boring, so they only show the outlines and some general things. Consequently, the society-benefits’ idea is not a real one.

the rest are the reading text and the audio script. I feel that that you were judging the reading text and the audio secript, I dont know exactly what are my mistakes. So, could you please point them out more clearly!

Thank you a lot in advanced!

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Why are you trying to write this type of texts? What exactly do you want to accomplish with this exercise? Who do you think will ever read your texts and how can your readers benefit from them?

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sorry, but I really dont know what are you talking about!
what readers!
I just wanted someone to check my essay!
I am practising for the Toefl exam …
and this is the intergrated essay…frome the writing section .
did I make any thing wrong !

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I’m afraid nobody is ever going to read any of your essays so why bother writing them?

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well, I just tried, but why exactly!!
thanks for your time any way!

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Because you are not writing your essays for any readers but for a fictional and anonymous panel of examiners who don’t care about you as a person.

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and I’m trying to understand how are these " fictional and anonymous panel of examiners who do’nt care about me as a person" gonna examine this question in the TOEFL. I’m trying to get some advices about my writting , am I in the wrong place!

Here is some advice for you: "an advice" is wrong (some advice is correct)

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I appreciate it a lot! Thanks .

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How about you start by introducing yourself? Who are you and what exactly do you want to accomplish?

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Surprisingly, I studied English language and linguistics at JUST, in Jordan . I know it is weird to make such silly mistake, I mean writing “advice” in a plural form. Anyways I wanna complete my Master degree in Turkey. I’m planning to apply for a scholarship there, that is why I need the TOEFL.
BTY, I read your comment about using the spelling checker, I really agree with you!

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You should also read through all the other essays and comments starting with this one:

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