In a recent survey conducted in this country, it was found that up to 20% of twel

English as a Second Language Preparation for and help with the TOEFL® Test and
1

Hi kitosdad

please can you assess this essay.

Thanks in advance.

[color=darkblue]In a recent survey conducted in this country, it was found that up to 20% of twelve year-olds in some schools were showing early signs of nicotine addiction.
In the eighteen to twenty year age bracket the percentage was as high as 70%. A large contributing factor to this high level of addiction is attributed to the uncensored TV advertising of cigarettes.
For this reason all cigarette advertising should be banned.

There is no doubt that the addiction of nicotine was and is a very common habit between adolescents, and the major cause is the ads, that corporations have spend a large amount of money to promote them.

Fortunately, we see from the survey that the average of smokers has been reduced tremendously in the recent years, undoubtedly, the reason for that returns is the banning of these advertisements which has been cutting down by the media.
Nowadays almost all the advertisements of cigarettes have been quite rare on TV, and very monitored worldwide, simultaneously, the governments have risen the cost of cigarettes and set many taxes in order to demolish the effects of them on the smoker.
Of course, advertisements play a crucial role to target a big number of innocent teens to try this bad habit, simultaneously the ads usually are showed by a famous figure as the way to persuade the audience of it‘s taste and it‘s quality.

Nowadays, a considerable number of people have knew the risks of nicotine and became more aware of what the consequences the smoker probably will suffer in distant future. thanks to technology which has opened our minds to know the true from the wrong.
Thanks to god, this percentage of addicts was surprisingly high amongst adults, while now I can say it becomes reasonable in spite of the rapid spread of the immoralism amongst our guys.

To sum up, I totally agree with the bad effect that advertisements play to increase the number of smokers, but we should be cautious, and banned these ads in order to save our adults life and sustain them as we can.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university professor and a student in the professor’s office

2

Hi kitosdad

please can you assess this essay.

Thanks in advance.

[b][color=darkblue]In a recent survey conducted in this country, it was found that up to 20% of twelve year-olds in some schools were showing early signs of nicotine addiction.

In the eighteen to twenty year age bracket the percentage was as high as 70%. A large contributing factor to this high level of addiction is attributed to the uncensored TV advertising of cigarettes.

For this reason all cigarette advertising should be banned.[/b]

There is doubt that addiction of nicotine was and is a very common habit between adolescents, and the major cause is the ads, that corporations have spenT a large amount of money to promote SMOKING.

Fortunately, we CAN see from the survey that the average of smokers has been reduced tremendously in the recent years, undoubtedly, the reason for that REDUCTION is the banning of these advertisements which has been CUT down by the media.

Nowadays almost all the advertisements FOR cigarettes have been rareLY SEEN on TV, and very monitored worldwide(.) Simultaneously, the governments have RAISED the cost of cigarettes and IMPOSED many taxes in order to demolish the effects of them on the smoker.

Of course, advertisements play a crucial role IN targetING LARGE numberS of innocent teens to try this bad habit, simultaneously the ads usually are showN WITH a famous figure as the way to persuade the audience of it‘s taste and it‘s quality.

Nowadays, a considerable number of people have KNOWN the risks of nicotine and became more aware of what the consequences the smoker probably will suffer in THE distant futur(,) thanks to technology which has opened our minds to know the truTH(.)

Thanks to god, this percentage of addicts was surprisingly high amongst adults, while now I can say it becOME MORE TOLERABLE in spite of the rapid spread of immoralITY amongst our guys.

To sum up, I totally agree with the bad effect that advertisements play IN increasING the number of smokers, but we should be cautious, and DAN these ads in order to save our adults LIVES and sustain them as LONG AS we can.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

This essay should have been good, but was only poor because of your limited vocabulary. If you DO NOT read English publications I can assure you that your further progress will be agonisingly slow. Your decision. Read and progress, don’t and remain stagnant.

Kitos. 7/10

3

Hi kitosdad

please can you assess this essay.

Thanks in advance.

[color=darkblue]In a recent survey conducted in this country, it was found that up to 20% of twelve year-olds in some schools were showing early signs of nicotine addiction.
In the eighteen to twenty year age bracket the percentage was as high as 70%. A large contributing factor to this high level of addiction is attributed to the uncensored TV advertising of cigarettes.
For this reason all cigarette advertising should be banned.

There is doubt that addiction of nicotine was and is a very common habit between adolescents, and the major cause is the ads, that corporations have spenT a large amount of money to promote SMOKING.

Fortunately, we CAN see from the survey that the average of smokers has been reduced tremendously in the recent years, undoubtedly, the reason for that REDUCTION is the banning of these advertisements which has been CUT down by the media.
Nowadays almost all the advertisements FOR cigarettes have been rareLY SEEN on TV, and very monitored worldwide(.) Simultaneously, the governments have RAISED the cost of cigarettes and IMPOSED many taxes in order to demolish the effects of them on the smoker.
Of course, advertisements play a crucial role IN targetING LARGE numberS of innocent teens to try this bad habit, simultaneously the ads usually are showN WITH a famous figure as the way to persuade the audience of it‘s taste and it‘s quality.

Nowadays, a considerable number of people have KNOWN the risks of nicotine and became more aware of what the consequences the smoker probably will suffer in THE distant futur(,) thanks to technology which has opened our minds to know the truTH(.)

Thanks to god, this percentage of addicts was surprisingly high amongst adults, while now I can say it becOME MORE TOLERABLE in spite of the rapid spread of immoralITY amongst our guys.

To sum up, I totally agree with the bad effect that advertisements play IN increasING the number of smokers, but we should be cautious, and DAN these ads in order to save our adults LIVES and sustain them as LONG AS we can.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
This essay should have been good, but was only poor because of your limited vocabulary. If you DO NOT read English publications I can assure you that your further progress will be agonisingly slow. Your decision. Read and progress, don’t and remain stagnant. You have to improve!

Kitos. 7/10

4

Thank you Mr.kitos, I appreciate your correction.

is my vocabulary range too limited, and must be increase much more.

and what about my previous essays, is their lack in vocabulary? or this one only!!!

5

Good morning Sam. Your vocabulary is not your real drawback, because I have seen from your other essays that it is sufficiently large enough to write good essays. You really must start reading “everyday” English in newspapers to accustom yourself with the manner in which English minds works, and writers write. Believe me, it is now the way forward for you. Forget the grammar books. They have served their purpose … now you need to read English publications.

Kitos.