If you want to study abroad

Hello, here is my essay

I´m planning to study abroad, which will be an important experience in my life. However, there are certain benefits and downsides about studying in a foreign country. Therefore, in the subsequent paragraphs each side will be discussed illustrated by personal experiences to support my view.

To begin with, if I studied abroad I would face to be far from my family, including on important days. Although the distance could bring several benefit to my personal growth, for instance I would learn to be more responsible, not only of my personal care, but on my monthly expenses, safety, and any sort of decisions. However, if I studied out of the country presumably I would be homesick, and as a consequence it might interfered with my concentration making my foreign life harder than expected. Homesickness not only could preclude my success, but also it might lead into mental instability, whose symptoms are a severe lack of energy, suddenly mood changes, just to name a few. I can attest this from my own experience. Eight years ago I moved to another city in order to study chemistry. The first months were the most difficult ones because the nostalgia invaded me causing a gradually decrease of curiosity and excitement. Hence, this is the part I don’t like about studying in a foreign country.

Secondly, another point to be considered is that I would receive a better education by studying at a university with such a high ranking. Talented professors and effective facilities may possibly be provided, which support worldwide students who truly want to improve their skills and learn from the best. Besides, probably I would have the chance to learn in a class that aggregates many talented and committed classmates, who also would come from different parts of the world. Nevertheless, it exists some downsides that I dislike. For example, in case I want to study at a foreign nation whose language is different from mine, I should meet extra requirements, including a language proficiency certificate, which is expensive. Furthermore, I should pay for a student visa and a foreign student fee, whose price is higher than for native students. Needless to say, I should pay rent for and apartment and all the domestic services.

In conclusion, in spite of the homesickness and the amount of money invested, studying abroad is an opportunity of a lifetime, insomuch as I would socialize with outstanding classmates from distinct countries, as well as learn from talented teachers.

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Please compare this amended version with yours:

I plan to study abroad, which will be an important experience in my life. However, there are certain advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. Therefore, in the following paragraphs, each side will be discussed and illustrated with personal experiences to support my view.

To begin, if I were to study abroad, I would have to expect to be far away from my family, even on important days. Although distance could bring some benefits to my personal growth, I would, for example, learn to take more responsibility, not only for my personal care, but also for my monthly expenses, my safety, and any kind of decisions. However, if I were to study out of the country, I would likely be homesick, and that could affect my concentration and make my life abroad more difficult than expected. Homesickness could not only hinder my success, but also lead to psychological instability, the symptoms of which are a severe lack of energy, sudden mood swings, to name a few. I can confirm this from my own experience. Eight years ago, I moved to another city to study chemistry. The first few months were the most difficult, as nostalgia overtook me and curiosity and excitement gradually waned. So that’s the part I don’t like about studying in a foreign country.

Secondly, another point to consider is that I would get a better education if I studied at a university with such a high ranking. There might be talented professors and effective facilities that support students worldwide who really want to improve their skills and learn from the best. Also, I would probably have the chance to study in a class that gathers many talented and dedicated classmates who would also come from different parts of the world. Still, there are some disadvantages that I don’t like. For example, if I want to study in a country whose language is different from mine, I have to meet additional requirements, including a language certificate, which is very expensive. I also have to pay for a student visa and a fee for foreign students, which is higher than for domestic students. Of course, I also have to pay for rent and housing and all domestic services.

In summary, despite the homesickness and high cost, studying abroad is a unique opportunity because I will meet with excellent fellow students from different countries and learn from talented teachers.

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Hi, thanks for the corrections

In order to know my progress, if you take into account the essay I posted, what would my score be?

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You should not worry about your TOEFL scores, they don’t mean much if anything.

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Hi, yes please. Could you send me the link?