Ielts writing task 2. topic: housing

Hi everyone, please help me assess this essay.
: Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of the old houses in the local areas, while others think that people should have freedom to
build houses of their own styles. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People ‘s opinions differ as to whether or not we should construct new houses in traditional architectural styles. In my view, people should design their own houses the way they prefer.
On the other hand, there are some major reasons why new constructions should follow conventional styles. In terms of tangible cultural heritage, traditional houses preserve traditional and cultural values which can boost tourism in the locality. Take Hoi An, one of the most renowned old quarters in Viet Nam, as an example. The government in here encouraged local residents to preserve their old houses and construct houses following conventional style, thus making HOI An a popular tourist destination which attract millions of visitors from all over the world.
In spite of the above arguments, i support the idea that people should welcome change and dimiss traditional views for a number of reasons. First, each individual have the right to build their own home in accordance with their own will. Their rights might be violated if they are forced to live in a house that does not suit their preferences.Moreover, owners may have to spend a huge amount of money constructing buildings which mirror past architectural standards as traditional construction materials such as woods, stones are difficult to obtain and expensive. And even they are difficult to keep in good condition so the needed maintenance costs can be exorbitant.
In conclusion, although both views certainly have some validity, it seems to me that it is better for everyone to have freedom to build their houses in their own styles.

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People ‘s opinions differ as to whether or not we should construct new houses in traditional architectural styles. In my view, people should design their own houses the way they prefer.

However, there are some major reasons why new constructions should follow conventional styles. In terms of tangible cultural heritage, traditional houses preserve traditional and cultural values which can boost tourism in the locality. Take Hoi An, one of the most renowned old quarters in Viet Nam, as an example. The government in here encouraged local residents to preserve their old houses and construct houses following the conventional style, thus making Hoi An a popular tourist destination which attracts millions of visitors from all over the world.

In spite of the above arguments, I support the idea that people should welcome change and dismiss traditional views for a number of reasons. First, each individual has the right to build their own home in accordance with their own will. Their rights might be violated if they are forced to live in a house that does not suit their preferences. Moreover, owners may have to spend a huge amount of money constructing buildings which mirror past architectural standards as traditional construction materials such as wood and stone are difficult to obtain and are expensive. And to keep them in good condition demands exorbitant maintenance cost.

In conclusion, although both views certainly have some validity, it seems to me that it is better for everyone to have freedom to build their houses in their own styles.

(The essay is good and merits a score of 70%)

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Thank you so much for your feedback

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