Hi, I’m preparing for my English test this Thursday, and here is my writing, can you please give me some comments on this ? And can you please evaluate my writing according to this: the total mark is 15 . Thank you so much !
Content: 50% of the total mark: enough relevant main ideas.
Language: 30 % of the total mark: use of variety of vocabulary and structures. +Presentation: 20% of the total mark: use of linking words and phrases, etc.
**That many students are far tii dependent on computers for their study may have some negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree ? **
Computers have long been an essential tool in all areas of education. Nowadays, the number of students using this kind of gadget is increasing. While there are some agurment against the disadvantages of depending on computers for learning, I personally believe that its has some negative impacts on the way students study.
Firstly, computers provide students with a wide variety of learning materials which are really useful for their study. However, they have a tendency to misusing this source of knowledge as they might use Internet to search the keys of the exercises and copy them down instead of thinking about it by themselves.
Secondly, students relying on computers too much might suffer from spelling mistakes. This is due to the fact that they use word processors to type and in the long run, they might lose the ability of writing with hand.
And finally, becoming reliant on computers results in some of the most common health problems. Muscle degradation which is caused by typing too much is a good example of this. In addition, the detrimental effects of abusing computers on our eyes must not be neglected.
In conclusion, while computers play an important part in the way students learn, their drawbacks far outweight their benefits in the long run.
Hi Phuong Thao Tran, welcome to the forum.
I am sorry, but I am not really familar with this 15 point scale, so I don’t think I should guess what it might score. I do think your ideas are relevant and your writing is clear. You also have good linking words and phrases, so your writing flows pretty well. Here are some specific suggestions: